Stop trying to fix yourself

We have been so preconditioned that there is something the matter with us, that somehow we are all broken inside.  We embark on self-help or therapy to try to fix something in ourselves.

What if you were fine just the way you are? Think about it for a second. Who you are being, right here, right now, is the perfect declaration of who you are at this moment. Everything you are now is the wholeness of who you are. This is you.

Yet we are constantly declaring to ourselves that we are not enough. That we need to make ourselves better. Has it worked? Has the belief or mindset that you are broken, wounded, flawed and never good enough helped you feel good about yourself or the life you are living?

I’m proposing something radically different. In Psychoneurology, we approach people as they are—there is nothing in them that needs to be fixed, and there is no such thing as a broken, wounded, flawed or incomplete human being.

What if the key to thriving and happiness is knowing deep down inside that you are more than enough, and that everything you are feeling is part of this experience called humanity?

What if all your experiences are manifestations of your belief systems, and you can and have the resources and ability to change your beliefs?

You create your own life

What if no one did anything to you that you did not allow? What if you suddenly realize that everything you are feeling is based entirely on your perception? That nothing was done to you, that all of this is your creation?

Would that be a little too much for you to handle or are you willing to own the fact that you create your life?

Psychoneurology is based on the foundation that we are all whole and complete beings who simply lack the resources to thrive. Once taught how to use and integrate those resources, you can direct your state of being into thriving and bliss. There is nothing wrong with you; you are just you, and that is an amazing thing.

Let’s stop trying to conform, trying to be a certain way and wearing masks just to please others.

It is time we turned the camera inwards, with the intention of liking what we see and appreciating who we are without any judgment or measure.

People work perfectly; they are not broken.

The assumption is that we already have all the resources we need, we just don’t know how to use them yet. People make choices based on resources available to them. In a therapy session, we teach them new tools, give them new choices.

Empower yourself through learning and discovering and know that you make your own choices. There is no such thing as not having a choice.

There is nothing outside of you that can cause you unhappiness if you do not let it. Come from a place of responding rather than reacting, and then you turn yourself from a passive observer into an active and thriving human being.

It all boils down to this: If what you are doing or thinking is not working for you, change it.

Lia S. Bernardo, Ph.D, specializes in Psychoneurology and Integrative Health. She provides private sessions and conducts personal development workshops and retreats for corporate clients and individuals. Visit www.liabernardo.com; follow @dr.liabernardo on Instagram.

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