Dear Emily,
With a boring corporate job just ended and my two kids content with their own families, there didn’t seem anything interesting for me to look forward to anymore. My husband has his own interests and leaves me mostly alone—a practice I’ve taken for granted all our married life.
A cousin’s friend from college who was enrolled in my gym class became a friend and mentioned he was putting up a restaurant. Out of the blue, he asked me to manage it. It was an interesting offer, so I took it.
I went to work the whole week and only took a day off when needed. I totally immersed myself in his business.
We’d talk for hours and he’d even drive me home in the evening. Before long, I’d look for him and would miss him when he didn’t show up.
He is younger than me by a few years, but he is so comforting. He and his wife separated after having two sons. She and their grown kids live in the United States. He said he came home to start a new life and had not looked for or expected to find romance, until we got acquainted in the gym.
I’ve told my cousin and my sons about what’s happening in my life and they were all happy for me. My husband, though, had the most interesting comment: “Good! I can now bring my girlfriend out into the open.”
We all agreed that at this age, we needn’t go through the complexities of marriage again. At this age, peace of mind and comfort are the essentials we are most after.—Dar
Answer:
Yes! What you all need are more openness, more trustworthiness, less complication, less miscommunication, less upheavals. If this guy is giving them to you, accept!
If there isn’t anybody being oppressed, humiliated, taken for granted, or being run to the ground unnecessarily by your action, everyone in your circle should just move on and keep to their own lanes. Less misery for all. Such is life, as what has happened to you.
This flux which gives the illusion of us being thrown off-kilter is what makes living so exciting—most specially at your interesting age.
Enjoy what you have now. Open your mind and don’t ask too many questions. In a little while everything will quiet down again.
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