Dear Emily,
I am a 30-year-old lesbian in a relationship with a woman for more than a year. My family already knows my sexuality and have happily supported me.
I truly love my partner despite all the red flags I see, as well as the opinion of others. Unlike me, she still has not come out because she is an active volunteer in Church. We were happy at first but now we seem distant and cold. I feel bad that she has hidden me in social media, though I know it is not a validation.
I also feel bad that she seems to take me for granted. But I am staying on because I love her and I’m willing to make sacrifices.
Recently, she said she was not happy in this relationship—not because of me because she loves me—but because of her internal struggle. I begged her to reconsider and choose to stay with me.
I have no control over her decision. Should I hold on or accept she is not the right person for me?
QUEER_30
Your partner is lucky that you loved her more than what she has felt for you, and for the sacrifices you made for her. But it has obviously just become a one-way street and she’s honest enough to declare the struggle she’s having with herself.
The wall she’s putting up will continue to go up and it may not be long before she completely shuts you out of her life.
She may have felt something for you at the start, much like a fever perhaps, but she had gotten over it and looks like she has fully recovered from it.
You can only look back at the experience with sorrow and ask yourself what could have gone wrong. The early passion looks finished. Done with. Over and out. No use wracking your brain over what happened. She has so much turmoil inside her and she still can’t accept what she really is.
There is nothing wrong with you, though. You have already accepted your true self and have grown quite comfortable in your own skin. You just fell for the wrong person who wasn’t ready to come out—for someone like you.
E-mail emarcelo@inquirer.com.ph or emarcelo629@gmail.com.