Your most important human relationship is with yourself, according to Jayanti Kirpalani, visiting yoga teacher from London. “This is not a selfish frame of mind,” she says.
Kirpalani, a Raja Yoga practitioner for 46 years and main coordinator for centers across Europe and the Middle East, will address medical professionals, meditation enthusiasts, entrepreneurs and students during the free public program, “Silent Mind, Happy Heart” at the Makati Sports Club ballroom at 6:30 p.m. on Thursday, July 18.
Presented by Brahma Kumaris Philippines, the event will also have Dr. Rene Samaniego, Psychiatric Association of the Philippines’ past president, as resource person. He will discuss “The Neuroscience of Meditation and Mindfulness.”
Kirpalani will speak about the spiritual aspect of mental health.
Excerpts from a recent Q&A with her during a forum on self-love, in Leicester, England.
Question: How do I love myself daily in practical ways?
Siser Jayanti: I should never think, “I am no good” or “I am weak” or even simply “What is the matter with me?” Instead, I should think, “I am peaceful.” “I am loved.”
In fact, that’s how everybody starts out but I forget, so I should keep reminding myself. Then I will remember all that went right before that one moment of doubt.
Negative chattering inside pulls me down because, at some point, I start to believe it. I should watch my mind. It is constantly racing and I am often in reactive mode. Let me slow down, to give my mind time to choose which thoughts to entertain.
Q: When there is a misunderstanding and my apology is ignored, how does self-love help?
A:I should give the hurt as much time as it needs to heal. I shield myself from more pain by keeping my distance. Instead of moping or blaming, I send calming thoughts to the other person. If I proceed with kindness and caring even without words, we just might get to rebuild the relationship. In the very least, that atmosphere would be better for both of us.
Q: I am a full-time mom and I love my children. Why do I feel burdened?
A: What probably happens is, I am at home but my mind is somewhere else. I am never truly present. I want to be a hands-on mom but I also want to have a career. I wish, I wish, I wish… When I choose to care for my children full-time, that becomes my career. In that setting, I can find time to spend regularly with myself, during which I can ascertain my own fulfillment and rewards. Wherever I am, life is constant learning and every day brings new lessons.
Q: How do I find love for myself in an atmosphere of continued pressure, like school?
A: I could look at it from the opposite end: “What would life be like if I couldn’t go to school, like many children around the world? Maybe it’s the discipline that I dislike. But discipline is the vessel that holds together everything that I am learning. Maybe I don’t like one teacher. Well, school is not just one teacher. School is many people, and every one could be my “teacher”! When I appreciate my fortune, I will get along better with everybody because my outlook shapes my feelings and actions.
Q: How can I stay positive when everything around me is negative?
A:I can either allow that negativity to come inside me or access my core values in “defense.”
A boat is meant to stay afloat on the water. What happens when the water gets inside the boat? Problem. I should be able to stay afloat in the world and yet protect what I am inside.
(To register for the July 18 event, call Brahma Kumaris Makati, tel. 890-7960.)