Dear Emily,
I was so stressed with my corporate job last year that I readily accepted the job a former boss offered in another company. It is the same position but I would be directly reporting to her this time.
I had known her as soft-spoken, reliable and meek, though I heard negative comments from my former coworkers. I shrugged them off as I didn’t want to judge her based on what other people said.
We were always together for a month in my new job so she could guide me along. But later on, her lack of tact started to get on my nerves. She would make vile comments about my happy love life—while talking highly of her own marriage. Once she blurted out that I wouldn’t have been hired if not for her.
During out-of-town trips, she always requested for a single room for the two of us even as the company allowed separate rooms for each employee. She said she’s scared to sleep alone in a hotel room. I didn’t mind it at first, but she started asking me to get her coffee and pick up her laundry during these trips. I applied for the trainer position and not her personal assistant.
When we’d talk about random topics, she’d impose her ideas and beliefs on me. She loved to repeat the great things her husband gave her on special days and would compare them to what I got from my boyfriend.
I have filtered her from seeing my Facebook posts because she always found something negative about them. She’d criticize other people’s weddings when her caterer didn’t even show up on her own wedding day.
I am actively looking for a new job. I’m torn between calling her out on her behavior because she seems unaware of it, or just leaving her be until I’ve resigned.
—OVERLY PISSED
She’s a bully! If you were able to leave your job before, what is preventing you from doing the same now—especially since there is a constant pebble in your shoe that is stressing you out!
Refrain from encouraging talk among your officemates against this woman. Avoid promoting any conflagration of bad vibes that could follow you in your next job. Just zip it and concentrate on finding work where this person cannot follow you—in any shape or form of communication.
Try to be kind to her while you’re on your way out. She seems to be saddled with a lot of problems in her mind and the only way she can keep her head above water is by slamming people to the ground who she thinks are a threat to her or are actually better than her. But while you are being kind, treat her like a black cat you wouldn’t cross the street when you see it.
Gratitude
I would like to express our family’s sincere gratitude to our friends who came from far and near to give their tight hugs so as to prevent our broken hearts from turning into little pieces on the sudden death of our beloved sister, Consuelo. You made our burden truly a bit lighter. Many, many thanks!
Email emarcelo@inquirer.com.ph or emarcelo629@gmail.com