Dear Emily,

You may be able to give a positive spin to my dilemma, being more familiar with lots of people’s problems. It’s about the size of my manhood, which is medically called “almost micro.” I don’t know if it’s genetic, because I’m an adopted son. I don’t think it’s because I am not also a tall man. My wife and I have adult children, and she has never complained. She’s the conservative type, and I believe I’m her first and last boyfriend. At 60, we have no problem having regular sex. But I envy even the midgets I watch in porn movies who are normally endowed. I’ve been so frustrated and depressed all my life. I avoid being naked with fellow men in public outings. I’m contemplating penis enlargement surgery but scared of the side effects.

—DEPRESSED

Answer:

A wise man said that the biggest sex organ is the brain. It can summon every nook and cranny of the body to perform its function… to leap over heights, carry unbelievably heavy objects during a fire, and do Herculean tasks when needed. You’ve been frustrated and depressed by your inadequacy, but aren’t you grateful in the least that erectile dysfunction has not entered your pool of problems, even at 60? It’s just the size that is frustrating you. But there’s no gratitude from you at being satisfied nonetheless? Haven’t you heard of able-bodied, well-formed men who are unable to perform no matter what doctors prescribe at such great expense? Or having a freak accident perhaps, and being paralyzed for life? Size may be your problem, but the root of your frustration stems from comparing yourself to others—like those porn actors you watch who you think are more gifted by nature. But you barely know the truth about the anguish they suffer. They may have issues you’d never exchange your life for. The grass is always greener in someone else’s yard; there will always be lesser or greater persons than yourself—you know those sayings.

You may want to recalibrate your thinking and start being grateful for the other blessings you hardly know. Remember that things could be worse. Don’t fix it if it ain’t broke, and be careful what you wish for…

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