I’ve been wondering: What do you do with your bonus years—the years beyond age 80, when every day after that constitutes a milestone? When and how do you, for instance, mark your next birthday, when the arrival of the immediate future becomes increasingly uncertain?
Brothers Bart, 88, and Ren Silayan, 86, probably more so their respective wives, Imelda and Felici, who have troubled themselves preparing for their past birthday celebrations, may have found themselves in that predicament.
The couples Silayan had not planned any celebration this time, but their friend of a lifetime Annabel Wisniewski wouldn’t hear of it. Recently, after 50 years of marriage, Annabel lost her handsome American-Pollack Tom, a classmate at Cornell and a partner not only in life but also in their restaurant, hotel and resort undertakings; she herself had just had knee repair, though a minor one.
Anyway, Annabel was not letting Bart’s and Ren’s birthdays pass without a celebration: “What a blessing it is to reach their ages! Tom was 10 years younger and he’s gone. At their ages, as we all know, life is iffy. Instead of the usual lunch, I thought at their tender ages, I’d give them a joint children’s birthday party at my house to relive our long-gone youth!”
The two brothers celebrated their birthdays jointly as children and younger men.
Felici recalls, “My mother-in-law thought it more practical and matipid—the brothers were both born in August. In fact, she gave only one party for my husband, Ren, born on the 18th, and Bart, on the 24th, as well as their younger sister Aurora, who is in the care of her daughter Rina, since her stroke about 10 years ago.”
‘Banderillas’
Annabel had gone all out and decorated her home with banderillas, like the children’s parties of old. It was in the same home, inherited from her mother, where we classmates had had many memorable teenage dancing parties. Even now we hold our reunions there. It’s really a party-friendly, welcoming home, full of memories.
At the gate hung a welcome tarpaulin with the faces of the birthday boys at ages 8 and 6, 80 years ago, with the words “Forever young.” It was exactly like the children’s parties we threw for our own children, when everything was so much more affordable. There were three menus: one for the parents and grandparents, another for the children, and yet another for the yayas and drivers.
Annabel served a combination of the menus for children and adults: sweet spaghetti, hotdogs on sticks with mallows at the tip, rainbow-colored pinwheel sandwiches, tacos, chili con carne, chicharon, pork barbecue, potato salad, cupcakes, a birthday cake with the brothers’ pictures and “dirty” ice cream served from the sorbetero’s cart. There, too, were balloons and party hats and, of course, giveaway loot bags filled with candies.
Three generations were in attendance. Children and spouses and 28 grandchildren easily outnumbered the adults. The younger ones quickly took advantage of the week’s first sunny day and took to the pool, where we do our thrice-weekly aqua exercises. The slightly older had fun playing with the six frisky Wisniewski dogs and three brand-new puppies in the garden. Life, it would seem, has come full circle—back to children’s parties!
The Wisniewskis and the Silayans had been friends socially before they became business colleagues. The Silayans founded Allied Metals, which pioneered industrial kitchen equipment, and Annabel’s mom, of Bungalow Food Services, was their first major account. Annabel and Tom themselves would become clients in their restaurant business—Providore, Motto Motto, Friends and Family, among others—and hotel business—Discovery Shores in Boracay, before they put up their own, Coast. The two families had also traveled together. Bart is godfather to Andrej, one of the three Wisniewski boys.
Family
“All through Tom’s illness they were very thoughtful and supportive,” said Annabel. “Even if they lived so far, they came often to look in on Tom and me. We’re more than friends, we’re family.”
Annabel was herself very pleased with how everything turned out. “What I loved most was seeing their happy and surprised faces! I felt young again, but, of course, missed Tom, who I see now and then as a fluttering butterfly in the garden.”
At the last minute, Bart, now completely retired, didn’t feel well and couldn’t make it, but his wife, children and grandchildren were there. Such is life at 88, so iffy, indeed. It’s useless to RSVP even to one’s own party; one never knows what can happen from one minute to the next. The younger Ren still goes to office for meetings and to sign checks. ”It’s difficult to stay away from a company you started and nurtured for more than 50 years!”
Imelda said, “The party was a testament to the power of friendship. The warmth and generosity of Annabel brought back memories of our youth!”
Everybody was all praises for their gracious hostess. Felici said it best, “Annabel is truly the Martha Stewart of the Philippines, the food and décor were phenomenal!” To us her classmates, she’s Oprah Winfrey. Both comparisons, in any case, fairly describe her talents and grandness as a person and a friend.
It is said that friends can surpass kin in unconditional devotion and tender loving care. There are, after all, no money issues or sibling rivalries that can get in the way.
Blessed are those who keep old friends; they’re the best assets in old age!