I started going out with this guy in high school. We both came from poor families but dreamed big about our future. My father was a janitor in a government office, while his father was a farmer. My father made sure I went to college by borrowing from loan sharks and relatives until I graduated.
Because of his many siblings, my boyfriend could only go to a vocational school and became an electrician. Our paths diverged from then on. I became an accountant and was sent to the United States for training where I had a successful career. I also became a single parent. He married someone in his town and had a child.
Seven years ago, we reconnected after 25 years. We started talking daily via long distance on the phone. He said he didn’t want me to see how old and fat he had gotten. I myself had become so fat, I was embarrassed by it. We were both content to look at our photos from high school.
He told me how hard his life had been. His daughter stays in his house; she has six children and a jobless husband. His own wife is sick and in and out of hospital.
Since my own life has been so blessed, I started sending him money. First, it was just tuition for his grandchildren and medicine. Later, he was asking to buy stuff that I found were not really important, like a motorcycle, a computer, mobile phones and even a new room for his house. Whenever we’d talk, instead of asking after me for a change, he’d start whining about his miserable life.
I was soon making excuses to not talk to him. Early this year, I totally stopped answering his calls. He had become materialistic. I went along for as long as I could because we were each other’s first love, and I really cared for him. I felt sorry for his fate and sent help as much as I could.
He’s lucky that I felt so lonely for so long, I wanted to recapture our past young love, but he has become this complete stranger always begging for money. That brought me back my senses. I couldn’t accept that I had become his cash cow. He couldn’t pretend to love me or be loving in our many, many long conversations, and that hurt.
Recently, a common friend called to say that he had become so fat and sick of various ailments. It was like listening to a story about a stranger.—OVER AND OUT
Trying to recapture the glow of a dead star now feels like a big mistake.
Yes, you blinded him with the sparkle of money he was in dire need of. And your generosity felt like it was his for the taking. All he had to do was say it, and you became his long-awaited fairy godmother.
Now, years later, you probably wish you did not astound him immediately with glitter, but instead slowly got to know each other again. That, and a million other should-haves could have set this relationship right.
As they say, there’s no fool like an old fool.
But you were lonely, and you could only romanticize about your past. You couldn’t have known how needy he has become. And he, in his warped, poverty-stricken mind, couldn’t cope with this sudden abundance. He blindly devoured your largesse and had no inkling how to show gratitude.
The tragedy of human nature is to be so easily blinded by gold. And how unfortunately, most lose their souls over it. You’ve awakened from your mistake and you can now continue with the life you’ve made—away from this man.
emarcelo@inquirer.com.ph, or emarcelo629@gmail.com