Dad was not very sociable, so he would’ve been astounded to see the thousands and thousands of people who have come to pay their respects to him over this past week …
The past few days have been a celebration of Dad’s storied life—93 years, what a long life. And he lived it to the fullest.
So many people have come up to us to share stories about their personal interactions with him. His childhood best friend, Auntie Pacita Tiong, showed up on Monday and shared funny stories about Dad that made us all laugh.
She remembered how one day in 1939, Dad, a distant relative whose father just passed away, showed up in the house of his uncle, her father, Manuel Gotianun, and ended up living with them.
Dad and Auntie Pacita were about the same age and became inseparable. They used to tease each other a lot. Dad called Auntie Pacita “sungki” because she had crooked teeth, and drew pictures of crooked teeth everywhere.
Auntie Pacita got so angry, she stabbed him with a pencil on his side. To retaliate, Dad also stabbed her with his pencil, on her arm.
On Monday, Auntie Pacita raised her sleeve and showed my sisters the pencil mark on her arm. Eighty years later, it’s still there. Shall we check if Dad’s is still there too?…
In control
These last few weeks must’ve been the hardest… for Dad. After all, since the death of his father when he was 13 years old, Dad had always been in control; he had taken charge of everything and made all the decisions on his own. So it must have been extremely challenging and frustrating to be in that hospital bed surrounded by all those machines. Dad was used to taking care of people, not being taken care of …
Dad was famous for keeping food in his pocket to tide him over when he was hungry.
I remember a trip to France. We bought some bleu cheese in the train station, and he put it in his pocket. Later, at a meeting, I could smell the bleu cheese that was staining his pants. It smelled so bad and I was so embarrassed, but Dad didn’t care. He had saved several euros by not having to buy lunch.
Another thing I remember about traveling with Dad during my younger days is having to share a hotel room with him. The problem was, Dad snored really loud. I must say Mom is a saint for putting up with it for 61 years. In my case, I didn’t. So I walked out … out of the bedroom and into the bathroom where I spent the night in the bathtub.
Hard worker
Over the last few weeks, whenever I visited Dad in the hospital, the larger-than-life man looked so small in his hospital bed, and he knew it. That was why he kept shooing us away from the hospital as soon as we arrived. Even if we had spent two hours in traffic getting to the hospital, he shooed us away after two minutes.
First of all, he didn’t want our pity. Second, and more importantly, being with him in the hospital meant we weren’t at work, and he always wanted us at work.
He always said we have a responsibility to our employees to make sure our businesses are sustainable so that their jobs are secure with enough income to provide for their families …
Family time
His life’s work, his life’s legacy was the company he built, 75,000 strong … But he always made sure that when we sat down for dinner at 7:30 p.m. after a long school day, he was there to join us after a long workday as well.
Some days he had to leave after dinner to go back to the office or to go to another meeting, but at dinnertime, he was there with us. Dad’s presence made me realize that despite the pressures from his growing business, our family was always important to him.
When Dad turned 90, I wrote a book called “Lessons from Dad … ” They were ordinary, everyday stories about a regular human being who happened to be my Dad, and I think that’s what appealed to people most …
Common man
I think Dad was most successful with businesses that catered to the everyman, the common man, because that’s who he was himself. From producing snacks like Chippy that are part of every Filipino’s childhood memories and Robinsons Malls with affordable necessities to Sun Cellular that had cheaper rates than the competition and Cebu Pacific, the budget airline, so that every Juan can fly.
Dad was an every Juan, a simple man who wore ill-fitting clothes, whose ties were almost always stained, who loved to stay home and read his piles of books.
But he was an everyman who had a vision. He loved his family, he loved his employees, he loved his country.
When Dad turned 80, he put half his fortune in the Gokongwei Brothers Foundation (GBF), specifically earmarked for education. In honor of GBF’s endowments, Ateneo de Manila University and De La Salle University renamed their departments the Ateneo de Manila John Gokongwei School of Management and the De La Salle University Gokongwei College of Engineering. The foundation also supports over 600 students, primarily in engineering and vocational technology every year.
Dad stopped being active in management when he was 90, but he still was very visible in the business till the very end. He would show up unannounced in a factory or a new building …
During the many conversations we shared, Dad said my role is to take care of the family and the company … I promised Dad I would always take care of my family—my mother, my sisters, my wife, my children, and our extended family. I promised Dad I would always take care of the company…
Dad, I’m grateful for all the opportunities you have given me. I take on the responsibility you have left me. You have passed the baton on to me.
I accept it humbly, gratefully, with open hands, heart, and mind. And I am running with it.