Dear Emily,
I am in a bind as to whether or not to listen to my mom and reconsider my relationship with my girlfriend.
We are planning to get married in two years and Mom said she may be pretty and hardworking, but her temper will be the death of me.
We are compatible in bed, and she brings in good money, which I allow her to keep all to herself. She has no family except for cousins she isn’t close to.
She is a good housemate being compulsively neat and a great cook. But she flares up at the count of one and criticizes everyone around—except me.
We are both ambitious and having children is not part of our plan.
She has issues but she is my greatest defender and watches my back constantly. But the way she alienates my mother and my siblings can also be a deal breaker.
I am quietly deaf to my mother’s advice and somehow don’t have the heart to leave my girlfriend. She gets over her bad temper easily and is basically a nice person when she wants to—most especially to me.—PATIENT BF
If you are comfortable dealing with her short fuse and the way she rains down her criticisms on everyone—except you—then you have no problem. What will happen is, it will be just you and her against the world.
But the two of you are not an island by yourselves. Like it or not, you will be dealing with various types of people many times in a day. Will you be able to cope with complaints about her?
And her dealings with your family—how will you address that? Shouldn’t she learn to temper her strong personality especially as it concerns your mother?
Your mother only has your best intentions at heart so heed her advice as much as you comfortably can. Men will have as many girlfriends as there are letters in the alphabet, but sadly only one mother.
Though your marriage now seems written in the cards, your girlfriend must bend a bit and attempt some semblance of harmony with your family. She should love you enough to want to keep peace with everyone. Remind her of the saying that she can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.
There’s a saying, happy wife, happy life. Let it not be forgotten, that goes for husbands, too!
Email emarcelo@ inquirer.com.ph or emarcelo629@gmail.com