Adam and Eve (take 3) and characters in the trial | Lifestyle.INQ

OCTOBER 27, 2022

“OUT OF EDEN”—Adam’s family no longer lives in paradise. They have developed bad habits like killing animals to eat and wearing furs and skins. The snake is now a pet tied to a tree. At least Adam has been domesticated, by Fernando; owned by Araceli Limcaco Dans.

“Man and woman are so involved with each other that one is the work of the other. Without woman, man could not be called man; without man, woman could not be named woman. Thus woman is the work of man, while man is a sight full of consolation for woman.” —Hildegard von Bingen

“EVE’S First Swimming Lesson”—in which Eve almost drowns Adam and displaces his fig leaf, by Gilda Cordero-Fernando; owned by Marjorie Evasco.

“LILITH, Adam’s First Wife”—according to Hebrew folklore, Adam’s first wife was named Lilith and she liked cavorting at night with the sea sprites. She was lewd and hard-headed and insisted on being equal to Adam, refusing to lie underneath him during intercourse. God finally took pity on Adam and gave him a more docile wife from his own rib, by Fernando; owned by Gilbert Valde

“EVE’S First Swimming Lesson”—in which Eve almost drowns Adam and displaces his fig leaf, by Gilda Cordero-Fernando; owned by Marjorie Evasco.

“THE SECOND Time Around”—The snake is back! But time has passed (note modern gear) and now Adam and Eve know better, by Fernando; owned by Karla Delgado.

“OUT OF EDEN”—Adam’s family no longer lives in paradise. They have developed bad habits like killing animals to eat and wearing furs and skins. The snake is now a pet tied to a tree. At least Adam has been domesticated, by Fernando; owned by Araceli Limcaco Dans.

Characters in the trial

“LILITH, Adam’s First Wife”—according to Hebrew folklore, Adam’s first wife was named Lilith and she liked cavorting at night with the sea sprites. She was lewd and hard-headed and insisted on being equal to Adam, refusing to lie underneath him during intercourse. God finally took pity on Adam and gave him a more docile wife from his own rib, by Fernando; owned by Gilbert Valde

Today I have delayed turning on the TV, hoping to skip honorable Miriam Defensor Santiago’s lecture/tongue-lashing of whoever. I feel my blood pressure rising to match her 190-70. (I hope she goes home early).

I am beginning to find honorable Serafin Cuevas cute. His unique hairdo, crooked forefinger, and amused smile (what my deceased mother would describe as “umis kuto”) are beguiling. I wish he were on the side of the prosecution. (The defense would have been bulldozed by now.)

Witness Ms Anabelle Tiongson—is that how an Assumptionist should testify? “I don’t know, um” (smile); “Um, I wasn’t aware” (smile); “I can’t say that, um” (smile); “If you say so, sir, um..” (smile).

“THE SECOND Time Around”—The snake is back! But time has passed (note modern gear) and now Adam and Eve know better, by Fernando; owned by Karla Delgado.

The Cayetano siblings are adorable! They are articulate, knowledgeable and sound important.

Naku, honorable Niel Tupas, sus, sir…. Ok, well, anyway… everyone loves an underdog. We’re public opinion, and we’re still rooting for you!

PS. My friend UP English professor Emeritus Sylvia M. Ventura points out that on my list of the mispronunciations in the trial (last column), I missed the word “supreme.” Yes, indeed! Forever being pronounced with the accent on the first syllable, “supreme” should be stressed on the second or last syllable.

I also pray none of them again calls their colleague “kulig,” which is actually a Tagalog word for piglet.

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