I am the mother of one girl and two boys. For almost 20 years, I reared them alone since my husband left to be an OFW.

My daughter started to go astray when she turned 16. She’d go out with boys she met online and wouldn’t come home till late at night. She got pregnant. I couldn’t say anything because she’d start throwing things or curse. The boy wouldn’t even visit.

She got pregnant a second time the next year. Since she was still in school, I’d be left with the kids. Then the boy stopped calling.

She met another boy in a party and got pregnant again shortly. She never saw him again.

When she was in college, a classmate fell in love with her despite her having three kids already. But this time, he wanted to marry her. He could only introduce her as single to his parents. Their own kid came a year after.

I consented to whatever she did because I wanted peace in my house. My worry now is how she treats her third child.

This child is the only one whose father we never met. I can see how sad the child is when the father of the first two sisters visits and brings gifts. She might grow up emotionally damaged.

I have been afraid to interfere in my children’s lives far too long and it’s too late to change anything now.

—PATHETIC FAMILY

Your children may have all grown up, but you are still their mother, however stubborn they’ve become. What you failed to instill in them growing up can still be reestablished. Kick them out of your house if they show as much as one fang to you.

You are all dealing with a growing human being in this fatherless child. You cannot just turn your backs and pretend she doesn’t exist or has no feelings. Granting she has no connection to her father, then forget him for the moment. As her grandmother, take over her emotional growth and make her feel wanted and loved from hereon.

There are other ways of filling up the void, and abundant love can do that. Never allow her to feel wanting. When the fathers of the other children are around, take this child away and bring her where she’d find joy, like in a park, a trip to see the sights, or to an eatery she loves. None of these have to be fancy. Anything to take her mind off what’s happening at home and divert the feelings she’s having.

She’s young and can adapt. Children are resilient and can cope when loved. Just don’t let her misery drag on, as that would really create an irreversible vacuum in her heart.

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