I am a married man with three kids. My wife of over 45 years is a stay-at-home mother. She considers socializing her only work. I don’t mind her doing that as she spends her own substantial allowance doing it. I am retired but still a consultant in my old company.

I’ve had a mistress of almost two decades. We never had children, but she had one with someone when she left me once. She said she didn’t want to grow old alone while I had my family to go back to. She said that’s what I got for not leaving my wife. I support her child, as well.

My problem is, I can’t seem to leave her. My wife knows about her but doesn’t care because I go home every night and knows I’ll never leave my family. My only daughter hates my mistress and accosts her whenever they cross paths.

I love them all and I know it’s my fault that my life turned out this way. I am too old to change anything and very set in my ways. Despite the turmoil, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

—OLD FOOL

Are you now being bothered by your present setup—the reason for this letter? Or did you just want to lay your head on the shoulder of a total stranger and unload the tale of your two families?

This arrangement looks like it is accepted reluctantly by all concerned. The only problem you have is knowing your mistress has decreed she’ll have a side dish till the day you leave your wife. Hello, sugar daddy!

Hey kid, don’t despair! It’s no one’s else’s business! Nobody can tell you what to do with your life. You’re not only mature enough, but considerably old to know what works for you.

Just remember to be kind and respectful to the feelings of whomever you’re dealing with in your convoluted family. Surely each one of them is someone you can be proud of. Nothing’s wrong in your family. It’s you, sadly, that’s what’s wrong in it.

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