Dear Emily,

My only son met this girl while they worked as English teachers in the province. This new girlfriend started staying in our house during weekends, and soon, for days on end. My husband and I didn’t complain because we were always away on business.

After five years she and my son broke up. He went abroad. Since our house is always vacant with just a cleaner, we found her living there when we came back from a trip. The girl said she didn’t like staying in their family house because it’s crowded, as her two married siblings are already living there. She is a nice girl, but not very neat. But we’re just grateful someone we trust is taking care of our house. But my son objected. He has moved on and found another girlfriend, an American. He wants his ex-girlfriend to move out because they’re over, and over is over, he said. The problem is me. I also start caring for the girls my son brings to our house and treat them like my own, having no daughter myself. I feel more heartbroken when he breaks up with them, especially this one. I don’t have the heart to ask this girl to leave, so I’ve decided I will cross the bridge when my son decides to come home.—HESITANT MOTHER

You apparently are a bleeding heart who treats strangers who come in contact with you as your own. If your son has known your character over the years and accepts your kindness toward his girlfriends as a given, he might just shake his head and accept it as being so you. He may even appreciate that his parents are being cared for in his absence and feel lucky in a way.

Let it not be a problem yet. Whether your son accepts the situation or not, he couldn’t do much at this time, considering how many thousands of miles away he is, and cannot just barge in to solve this problem.

Rest easy in the meantime, as he cannot berate you for the kindness you’re showing the girl he once loved.

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