Dear Emily,
My girlfriend and I have been together since we graduated from high school. We planned to get married after college. We went to different schools because she was given a full scholarship outside Manila.
It was during that time that I met someone in my new school and it was love at first sight. I couldn’t tell my girlfriend about this new girl because, first, I didn’t want to hurt her, and second, because we shared a bank account from which, unbeknownst to her, I had withdrawn a large amount when my parents got into a bind. I went to see her in her school during the holidays a few months ago but didn’t have the courage to confess anything. I just decided to enjoy the time with her and not think of anything.
A week ago, she came to see me and told me our short holiday produced a souvenir—we’re pregnant, she said. She looked so happy telling me the news that I didn’t want to destroy the moment for her.
I told my other girlfriend about it. I knew I had to man up to this new development. I am full of regrets for causing pain to both these women who were both wonderful to me. I know there will be karma to pay and I deserve it.
—FOOLISH MAN
Had you continued your “activities” with both these innocent women, your karma would probably exact its toll on you. But manning up to one and being honest with the other? It is not 100-percent commendable but it is sufficiently forgivable, given the alternatives. You were being human in your frailty, but you pushed to be honest and brave and looked your problem squarely in the eye. Not many men can do that. They’ll mostly hem and haw and give all sorts of excuses to evade the issue. Yes, you can probably be one of the exceptions.
Take this time to evaluate your life and where you’re heading. You have another human being coming into your life. Don’t squander the potential of becoming a good father. It is an obligation that you shouldn’t take lightly. The baby’s whole future depends on what you will be able to show him, what you can inculcate in his young mind. Best of all, give him all the love you can give. It’s free!
emarcelo@inquirer.com.ph or emarcelo629@gmail.com