It’s relatively easy to put up with something that will eventually go away, like rain or even a typhoon. But how does one take something not even time can heal?
Such was the unfathomable situation Rosanne Romero, a Theresian, High School 1975, found herself in when she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, a degenerative disease with no cure. She has been living with it for 34 years, beating all prognoses—from the progressive loss of capacities, limb functions, for one thing, to life expectancy. Hers is not a story of despair but a story of gracious acceptance of the life dealt her by God.
As a fellow Theresian, I joined a webinar on July 28, 2020, via Zoom, entitled “Building Resilience in the Time of COVID-19,” in which Romero spoke. The webinar was sponsored by the STC (St. Theresa’s College) Manila Alumnae Foundation Inc. and moderated by its president, Carmen V.F. Seriña.
Rosanne is surely the model of resiliency many of us would be needing at this time. For her, it was not so much a battle for survival as for a normalcy she could keep, given her condition. And I felt it was our battle, too; like her, we may have to settle for as much or as little of the old normal, after this pandemic.
Our lives have been changed, as it is. And who is to say that the virus won’t stay, or that a cure or a vaccine will come at all? Well, it is against similar prospects that Rosanne’s resiliency was tested. The sound of her voice, youthful, full of vigor and energy, and her attractive looks didn’t quite match her condition as I had imagined, but hers is the perfect face and the perfect voice, and she, the perfect gift to the world at this perfect time.
Disabling disease
Multiple sclerosis is a disabling disease of the brain and spinal cord; the immune system attacks the protective sheath covering the nerve fibers, causing communication disconnects between the brain and the rest of the body. It’s a lifelong condition that can lead to serious disability. It’s about losing control, and the prognoses allow for neither pessimism nor optimism.
Rosanne is carrying on much better now, but only after having gone through a step-by-step process from disbelief and resentment toward God to acceptance and healthy resignation. She never once told herself, “Kaya ko ’to!” At one point, she threw all her anger and disappointment at God, only to realize God could take as much as she could dish out. He was in fact always happy to receive her in whatever state. That’s when her spiritual quotient came in and allowed for a relationship with God.
Multiple sclerosis usually causes lesions all over the brain, but, to her doctor’s surprise, one important part was spared, allowing her to continue to be able to speak and write, which was in itself a miracle. She decided to get real; she gathered all her energy and planned her life in the context of her reality.
Rosanne is a regular contributor to Kerygma, a publication of The Light of Jesus Group, and has compiled her collection of essays into two books under the common title “Amusing Grace,” subtitled “Second Helping.” Aside from being an author, she is a certified public speaker and a senior pastoral leader of the oldest Catholic Convent Community, Ligaya ng Panginoon.
She also drew strength from the accounts of American prisoners who survived the Vietnam war; from their story she recognized the similarity in their formula for survival to her own. As prisoners of war, they were subjected to torture, but never to the point of death. In other words, the sure thing apart from the torture was that they would be kept alive for the next day’s torture. Ironically, it was the optimists among them, those who hung on year after year to hopes of rescue—come Christmas or some other American holiday like Fourth of July—that never came, who withered away in fear and died. The survivors had looked at things as they were, never indulging in false hopes. Instead, they gathered all their energy and strategized.
A day at a time
It was the same for Rosanne. The company and friendship of classmates, who never treated her as an invalid, helped her take the situation a day at a time. To this day, they remain part of her support system.
Rosanne is facing yet another challenge in this pandemic, being particularly vulnerable, but she has used it as an opportunity to inspire and help others. This pandemic has immobilized all of us. At age 80, I myself belong in the highest risk group. COVID-19 has also made us lose control over our lives. It has separated us from our loved ones and suspended our social and religious activities.
But, of course, other people have it far worse. We’re talking loss of livelihood, hunger and possible abuse from a regime predisposed to use military and police power to keep citizens in line. It is indeed a time of great uncertainties, a time when there is little trust in most of our institutions for their lack of simple humanitarian care.
Rosanne warns us not to paint a rosy picture from false hopes. She advises, rather, that we fall back on our God-given spiritual quotient. If we only look, we will realize the many miracles in our own lives. However, it is not enough to recognize them. We need to proclaim them, as does Rosanne, to help others.