With adult children, the rules have changed

Cielo Victoria (third from left) with kids

(Second in a series)

This week, we hear from more parents about their lockdown life with their children. They’ve been enjoying simple pleasures together—eating, binge-watching, telling stories—and, they say, family bonds are tighter than ever,

Cielo Cynthia G. Victoria

Mom of Richard Mikhael, 20,

CJ, 19, and Hannah Sophia, 17

How has your lockdown experience been with your kids?

It’s fun. I’m enjoying every single day of it.

How do you manage them?

They’re all grown up and do not need much supervision, but I do remind them to make use of their time wisely and in a productive way.

How do you keep them from getting bored?

By encouraging them to think of an activity that we can do together, setting a schedule to work out, cooking and baking new recipes, reading a new book or cleaning out the closets.

Has being in quarantine together brought you closer?

Yes, definitely.

What have been your favorite things to do with them in lockdown?

Besides eating, I enjoy talking to them about life, childhood memories, or any topic that is of interest at that moment.

Have you imposed a schedule or structure on their days?

Not really. I prefer to encourage them to set their priorities in managing their time.

What has been the biggest challenge of being in lockdown with your kids?

Our sleeping times have been very irregular. We had a routine of sleeping early when they had school and when I had to go to work. We often find ourselves sleeping later.

What’s the best part of being in lockdown with them?

Being with my kids.

Gloria Ornopia

Mom of Noelle, 17 and Elia, 14

How has your lockdown experience been with your kids?

It has not changed much, since our living space is not that big. So we are used to bumping into each other regularly.

How do you manage them?

I let them be . . . Since there’s no school, I let them oversleep and sleep late. I try to feed them things they’re craving for. At times they cook for themselves. They copy what they see on TikTok.

How do you keep them from getting bored?

My eldest and I started to work out. My youngest keeps us busy with K-Dramas. Both of them read a lot.

Has being in quarantine together brought you closer?

In a way, yes, but I believe that even before that, we already enjoyed each other’s company. They love to hear stories about when I was younger and my family history.

What have been your favorite things to do with them in lockdown?

Eat, Netflix and all-night storytelling.

Have you imposed a schedule or structure on their days?

Nope.

What has been the biggest challenge of being in lockdown with your kids?

The confined small space. At times, we have webinars, Zoom meetings and phone calls all at the same time and we struggle with who takes what space in the house. Headsets are truly a savior.

What’s the best part of being in lockdown with them?

Just sharing our day with simple pleasures such as food, stories, movies and cuddling. It made us realize the joy within is priceless. Life can be simple and it’s good to stay away from complicated people.

Living with adult children

Emily and Rey Duterte

Parents of Anya, 34, Mara, 32, Ray Philip, 30, Isaiah, 27, and Reyna, 19

Parents Emily and Rey Duterte (seated) with kids Isaiah, Reyna, Ray Philip and Mara

How has your lockdown experience been with your kids?

Our eldest is married and lives in Australia. With the rest of our children, we shared in the household chores. The kids took turns in washing the dishes, giving the dogs baths and walks, going to buy water, and cooking. We didn’t want to burden the househelp with a lot of work. We also had family prayers after dinner at least once a week.

What have been your favorite things to do with them in lockdown?

Netflix took a lot of our time. Food kept us together. Either we ordered out or we cooked, then we all ate together. My personal favorites were the conversations around the dining table. We’d spend at least two hours just talking and laughing about anything.

Has being in quarantine together brought you closer?

Definitely, quarantine has brought us closer together. We’d even think about what each one would need: exercise things, vitamins, video call essentials, etc. and surprise each other by buying these “needs.”

Have you imposed a schedule or structure on their days?

Since all of us are adults, we each have our own time, do what we each need to do. But we all meet at the dining table. Everyone must be at the table, whether you are hungry or not. We also adjusted our meals to just twice a day: brunch at 11 a.m. then dinner at 7 p.m. And sometimes merienda in between.

What has been the biggest challenge of being in lockdown with your kids?

The rules have changed. The children are now the ones who would “scold” us (parents) about going out, taking our medicines, and exercising. Sometimes we would argue and it would end with us saying, “We are responsible adults and we will not do anything that will jeopardize our safety”—things that our kids used to say when they’d go out with friends at night.

What’s the best part of being in lockdown with them?

Getting to know more about the kind of work they do because they work from home. And we are able to interact and contribute ideas. The family bonds are tighter. And family time in prayer.

Caridad W. Lutero

Mom of Anna Ysabela, 25, and Lea Angela, 22

How has your lockdown experience been with your kids?

It was fun, but at the same time challenging.

How do you manage them? How do you keep them from getting bored?

They both have their respective schedules and do not need much managing or amusing. Anna has online classes, while Lea keeps herself busy by doing crochet projects, playing and talking with her friends online. We also bought games that we played together to amuse ourselves. We enjoyed watching each other play and gave suggestions on how to approach problems in the game.

Caridad Lutero (far right) with kids Anna, Lea, their aunt Jane and dad Nick

Has being in quarantine together brought you closer?

Yes, it did. We had more time to talk to each other and discuss problems, concerns and plans, among others. We also talked about their friends, which gave me and my spouse a chance to get to know their friends, too.

What have been your favorite things to do with them in lockdown?

Cooking/baking, talking, eating, looking for new food or new things to try, playing with our pet dog, playing games together or watching each other play, among others.

Have you imposed a schedule or structure on their days?

Not with Anna. She has her scheduled online classes. With Lea, I gave her suggestions on how to pass her day like cleaning her room, organizing her stuff, etc.

What has been the biggest challenge of being in lockdown with your kids?

Staying fit and healthy. Exercise has nor been a priority because it feels like a very long vacation. The good thing is that the girls do not really miss going out and prefer to stay put at home for fear of catching the virus. Although they miss going out, they understand the dangers if they go out.

What’s the best part of being in lockdown with them?

Bonding with each other! It’s definitely worth the lockdown.

Mel Tiglao

Mom of Matthew, 15, and Ian, 10

How has your lockdown experience been with your kids?

My eldest stayed with my sister and her family. My youngest stayed with me. The lockdown brought anxiety to our everyday lives. Even if my son knew what or why we must stay indoors, it still made him anxious especially when the days dragged on and they couldn’t play outside. He missed going to school, seeing his friends and teachers. On the positive side, he’s eating well because I get to see how and what he eats. INQ

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