We never fully realize the value of anything until we lose it.
For me, that fateful moment came on June 12, when Yoly, my wife of more than 50 years, declared her own independence from the Earth plane and peacefully joined the spirit world after 76 years on this planet.
It could not have happened at a worse time. I was confined at Makati Medical Center undergoing surgery to install a heart pacer to regulate my erratic heartbeat. Yoly’s departure at home could not have been coincidental. Although bedridden for so many months, she knew and waited until my heart pacer was safely in place before departing. And sadly she died at the time when the entire Metro Manila was under quarantine due to the pandemic. So, no wake was allowed and her body was cremated the next day. I arrived home three hours too late. It completely devastated me.
She died of sepsis or infection in her blood plus other complications.
Only our household help were with her when she died at home, since two of our three children live abroad and the third lives far from us. According to them, she died peacefully and even managed to smile before she expired. She was at last freed from physical suffering.
Yoly finished high school at the University of the Philippines Prep School in Diliman and went on to finish an accounting course at the University of the East, easily passing the CPA board exams.
She was a happy, sociable and joyful person, always smiling at everybody and ready to help anyone in need. In school, she was very active in extracurricular activities. Her good looks and charming personality earned her a beauty title at a pageant in college. She worked with one government corporation and several private ones before she retired.
It was in 1963, at the First Nationwide Credit Corp., that we first met, quite by accident. I was then a supervisor in the personnel administration department when she applied for a job. Because the person in charge of recruitment was absent, I had to interview all applicants and have them undergo both IQ and aptitude tests. I was intimidated when I saw her results. Her IQ was significantly higher than mine!
It was while we were both working at SGV Group that we got married, on Nov. 18, 1967. She continued working even after marriage. She never wanted to be idle. She gave birth to three wonderful and highly intelligent children: Yvonne Sophia, Jolan Alexander and Jaime Raphael.
Yoly and I had a relatively happy and trouble-free marriage, but like most marriages we had our share of ups and downs.
She took an MBA course at Ateneo and finished all academic requirements but did not write a thesis, because she lost interest in it. She just wanted to prove she could make it to an MBA degree.
I was not interested anymore in further studies. It was Yoly who insisted that I take up graduate studies.
I told her I would take up the Master’s in Business Management course at Asian Institute of Management (AIM) if I could get a scholarship, both for my tuition and for my salary. I was very convinced I couldn’t make it because I was tired of studying again.
So I finished the MBM course in 1972.
Two or three years after graduating from AIM, I got very interested in studying and researching on things outside mainstream science and religion. I started studying the controversial faith healers and psychic surgeons, and later, about everything about paranormal and psychic phenomena.
Although Yoly was not really interested in these subjects, she supported me and did not stop me from pursuing my research into the unknown, while at the same time working for different corporations and teaching.
Then tragedy struck.
In 2013, Yoly suffered a series of ischemic and lacunar strokes, resulting in the weakening and later paralysis of the right side of her body. We consulted four neurologists and several faith healers, but there was not much they could do. Her condition was a progressive one, according to two neurologists.
In 2018 she was completely bedridden and unable to talk. I felt so depressed and angry and helpless. All I could do was make her more comfortable. In February this year, she suffered a serious blood infection or sepsis, secondary to urinary tract infection. She was released from the hospital, but medical treatment continued at home.
“How is it like being married to a guy like Jimmy?” she was asked in a magazine interview. She was very candid and straightforward. “It’s not easy to be married to Jimmy Licauco. To him, discussion is No. 1. The family plays second. But I understand his mission anyway, or try to understand what he does, so it’s OK.”
She made sure she attended all my seminars, not to spy on me but to really know me more.
She talked of our marriage as “not a boring one, neither is it passionate or romantic. But we don’t fight all the time.”
She also said, “Jimmy and I are not soulmates but karmic partners.” I was surprised she mentioned the distinction I used to teach in my “Soulmates, Karma and Reincarnation” seminar.
“My mom would always pacify me when my dad would scold me,” said Sophia. “She was not just my mom, but also my best friend, as I shared my love life with her. She would tell me about my dad, how they met, etc. He was the love of her life! She was firm when she needed to be. She was a very strong woman who kept her problems to herself.”
Jolan said, “My mom was the epitome of kindness, never mad, never sought attention for herself. She just listened, just praised, taught me words of wisdom and through the end, never wanted to be a bother to her family. I just wish I could have done more.”
Jim said, “She taught me to be self-reliant. Work hard as no one owes you anything except what you worked hard for. Be honest to a fault, as dishonest people can break you, if you allow them to.”
There were several paranormal incidents experienced by Sophia in the United States and one of our household help connected with the death of Yoly. But that’s another story. INQ