When Christmas family traditions come to a pause

The Bulik clan group photo at 2019’s Christmas party

This time around, people are really feeling the effects of the pandemic. In the Philippines, where the holidays are undoubtedly the happiest time of the year as friends and families gather to celebrate, not being able to physically spend time with each other is affecting many.

Normally, this is how my Dec. 25 is spent. From 11 a.m., I’d be with my father’s side of the family. This clan is not your normal-sized family. My grandfather is among 13 siblings, therefore making our family tree more complex. With over 200 members, celebrations with them are definitely a frenzy, but heartwarming at the same time.The Buliks, or what we call our clan, are very old-fashioned. The term bulik, which my Marikeñan ancestors have been going by for about 150 years, refers to a multicolored rooster that’s usually entered in cockfights or sabong. My Santos ancestors, who were a prominent family in Marikina, selected the name “Bulik” as they were swerte (lucky) in winning sabong.

Many of our family traditions that have been going on for decades are still being done today, foremost of which is the annual Christmas party. Every year, a different family in our clan is in charge of organizing the party, making each year completely different. At the end of every party, lots are drawn to determine which family will organize the next one, and there is a handover of the symbolic Bulik rooster figurine.

Different generations

Decoration process for the Buliks’ Christmas party in 2016

Organizing a party for so many people of different ages and generations isn’t easy, and so a family organizer’s job isn’t that simple. There’s choosing themes and costumes, hiring a caterer, booking a venue, setting up decorations, planning a program and games, and more.

A lot goes on in just a single afternoon with the Buliks, but a few things stand out for me and are what I look forward to every year.

First is the delicious sorbetes offered by mamang sorbetero in a cart parked by the entrance of the venue. The sight makes me eager to finish off my meal with some refreshing Filipino-style ice cream (and yes, I do line up for more than a single round).

Next is watching the production numbers that each family conceptualized and practiced. By the end, I’d be rolling in laughter from my funny uncles’ antics.

Last but not least is giving gifts to our kasambahay or helpers. With plenty of both children and seniors that need care and attention, kasambahay are a huge part of the family, as well. They help take care of everyone’s homes. We like to show appreciation to them by giving them small offerings of our gratitude.

Quite a number of our Bulik relatives have now migrated to different countries, but distance has not stopped them from remembering family and the importance of Christmas in our lives. A big part of our celebrations is watching video greetings from our relatives abroad.

Besides the annual Christmas party, gathering for Sunday breakfast at my great-grandparents’ house is another longstanding tradition. Not everyone makes it to these weekly breakfasts, but on Christmas Day, everyone is present. Our elders made sure to teach us the habit of pagmamano, one of the most important forms of respect for Filipinos, so entering the venue could mean at least 30 minutes of pagmamano to each elder owing to our large family.

After an afternoon of laughter, fun and bonding, the party would end at around 4 p.m. With the trunk of our car full presents from the many families, we’d come home not only happy to have spent time with our loved ones, but excited to open our gifts under the Christmas tree.

Not over yet

The author’s mother’s side of the family eating snacks and playing card games at an aunt’s apartment, Christmas 2018

But our day does not end here. Later that evening, we’d go to my aunt’s apartment and have dinner with my mother’s side of the family. This celebration is different in a whole other way, as this side is smaller and more intimate. We’d play card games, charades and competitive matches of bingo all night. We’d stay up chatting while eating snacks and sipping drinks, the perfect way to calmly end the long day.

Because of this pandemic, all these fun memories had to come to a pause for the moment, and left the members of my family thinking, “What now?”

A month before Christmas, we would usually be spending our time shopping for presents for our loved ones. And before we get to enjoy our Noche Buena, we attend the festive Christmas Eve Mass in our village. Attending Mass is one of the most important parts of celebrating the holidays, especially for many Christian Filipinos.

Finally, on Dec. 25, we’d wake up thinking of all our duties to contribute to the celebration. Yet this year, we aren’t even allowed to leave our homes. Hours of chika and hugging are now replaced by Zoom calls, ang pao with cash are substituted with GCash Pamasko, and handing out presents personally are now done through deliveries like Grab instead.

This definitely gives a sense of loneliness to all, but the true meaning of Christmas remains in our hearts, that being hopeful and trusting in God’s plan will help us get through everything, both good times and bad. —CONTRIBUTED

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