Actress and yoga instructor Maxene Magalona has learned over the years to acknowledge that there are good days and bad days in one’s life. But this all the more became clearer to her when she finally experienced being in quarantine as soon as she arrived back in Manila, after her year-long stay in Bali, when she and her husband Rob Mananquil could not go home due to pandemic lockdowns.
“I took this photo exactly a week after I had just arrived back home in Manila. It was my first time to experience being in quarantine as I was used to going out in Bali everyday,” she said in her Instagram page today, May 12, as she showed a black and while photo of herself lying in bed and looking ill.
Magalona recounted the day the photo was taken, which was marked by her planning her day with a to-do list. But she soon experienced a migraine which physically affected her the whole day. She was naturally frustrated since she didn’t like the feeling of “losing control.” She got emotional and wept.
“Gradually, the emotions that I had been keeping bottled up inside of me for God knows how long started to surface,” she said.
Magalona stated that when she was younger, she used to deny her negative feelings. She would always get drunk and party all night just to be numb from the feelings of “anxiety, fear and pain.”
“Now, being in lockdown leaves me no choice but to face and sit with the discomfort. Although this can be quite terrifying and painful, I actually welcome it so that I can hold space for my emotions and allow them to flow through me,” she said.
Magalona recalled that for the longest time, she tried to put on a strong façade by “trying to be tough,” but she failed as she found out that “it takes true strength and courage to feel all my feelings.”
“Now, I realize that even though we don’t normally post these kinds of things online, I choose to be honest and honor my sadness and grief as I understand that in order to live in our truth, we must accept the entire spectrum of life,” she explained. “We must allow ourselves to feel all our emotions and not just the ‘good’ ones because we wouldn’t even know what ‘good’ feels like if not for what makes us feel ‘bad.’” JB