“I define joy as a sustained sense of well-being and internal peace—a connection to what matters.”—Oprah Winfrey
Look inwards. The loving begins with you.
Coming into the second half of 2021, I wonder if I have fully utilized the first six months to grow into a more spiritual and soulful person with a more grounded life purpose. Still navigating this ever-evolving pandemic, I feel I need to work on a higher sense of self-worth and challenge my critical inner voice to remove destructive thoughts.
The first step in building self-worth is to stop comparing one’s self to others and stop being so critical of every move, especially in a relationship. The critical inner voice is like a nasty coach in our heads that constantly nags us with negative emotions.
Loving one’s self is a skill that takes time to perfect; however, the act of being compassionate to oneself is hardly every perfect. Perfection is not the intended goal, though—it’s all in the practice. And though each act of compassion toward ourselves may feel small, they are the building blocks for a strong foundation of falling in love with who we are—and all that we can be.
Mindfulness
By practicing mindfulness, we reduce our tendency to ruminate on problems or negative forms of thinking that are not conducive to real growth or change. The practice of self-compassion can help us avoid self-limiting or destructive thought processes, like the critical inner voice that often diminishes our motivation or initiative.
We all need something positive to hang on to, to build hope and motivation moving forward. That’s why I want to talk about gratitude. Not only do we have to face the daily insecurity and trauma of COVID. Our world is also rife with racial injustice, destructive fires and storms, political upheaval and other hardships.
Being grateful and looking at the bright side are just hollow concepts, unless you can truly feel aware of the sources of goodness in your life. Just knowing the silver lining is real—that there are things to be grateful for, things that make a positive difference in life—is a start.
The value of our life is our true priceless self worth. Making good and healthy choices is a constant pursuit. Like practice for any instrument, test, sport, job, lecture or relationship, it takes ongoing practice to remind us to keep working on our character traits. We don’t have to feel obligated to get carried away by the feeling or all the what ifs that our minds can throw at us. Instead, we can step back and recognize them as just thoughts and feelings, and not as absolute truths.
Relieving stress and anxiety
Meditation has been found to improve overall mental health, especially in relieving stress and anxiety. By taking the time to allow our body to relieve itself of stress, we are at the same time practicing self-compassion.
In the process of cultivating the much-needed skill of showing ourselves compassion, we also string along a whole other list of benefits, such as strengthening our resilience, learning to cope in a healthy way, and improving our overall emotional well-being.
When this reality is denied or resisted, suffering arises in the form of stress, frustration and self-criticism. However, when this reality is accepted with benevolence, we generate positive emotions of kindness and care that help us cope.
Our character is defined by values. These core values are the result of our behavior. That means these values are defined by our actions—not the other way around.
Authenticity is a core value that makes one unafraid of other people’s judgements. Stay true to yourself. Be the same person at every occasion in life. Truthfulness is connected to being authentic. Be honest about who you are and what you’ve done.
Joy and love are core values that should be ever-present, especially in any relationship. Life is short so do things that bring you joy. Joyfulness should be part of anyone’s daily life. Get to know your siblings on a deeper level. Have two or three friends that you spend your time with. Love your family.
Stay loyal and faithful
Own your actions, mistakes and current life situation. Responsibility is fully owning wrongdoings and being accountable without passing fault or blame. Stay loyal and faithful. Once you build a bond with someone, don’t break it unless it’s necessary. But most importantly, stay loyal to yourself. Never sacrifice your own mental well-being for others. Treat yourself like you treat someone you love.
In each of our lifetimes, we will be faced with struggles, big and small, internal and external. The pursuit of self-compassion will allow us to face these obstacles with a sense that, not only are we on our own team, but we are very much a part of a larger team.
Life, indeed, is a journey with abundant opportunities and limitless detours. What could be more glorious and gratifying than taking chances to keep the fire of your inner artists ablaze?
Powerful artistry
The León Gallery International, in cooperation with Derek Flores of DF Art Agency, recently presented its latest art exhibition “Art Detour.” The featured artists included architect Juan Carlo Calma, photographer Jay Yao (Jose Campos III), Korean artist Wonhee Cha Delgado or “Whee,” creative director Tracie Anglo Dizon, interior designer Kim Lim, and pop culture artist, painter and sculptor Ciane Xavier.
In their own powerful artistry, they depicted their personal passion and zeal for the arts.
Dizon, a creative director turned painter, has dedicated her productive years to the arts. I was glad to bump into her in Santa Fe, New Mexico, where we enjoyed a soulful visit.
Whee exhibited masterpieces with provocative strokes, vibrant palettes and definite textures. Just before the pandemic last year, Whee married my cousin Rashid Alexander Delgado at a lovely traditional festive celebration.
In life’s diversities, we could embrace our own creativity and break barriers even in the field of arts to fully experience life in its awesomeness. INQ
