In loving memory of my grandmother, Alita Solon, wife, mother, grandmother, seminary formator and recipient of two Papal awards.
“I love you todo-todo: way break, way kambyo!”
In English, that Cebuano phrase translates to “I love you so much: no break, no break!” Of course, that means “I love you unconditionally!”
My grandmother—most of the time I called her Lola, and at times Guamma, which is a Minnan Chinese translation for maternal grandmother—was born and raised in Cebu. Seemingly frail and fragile, she was very strong-willed, she knew what she wanted, and she worked inasmuch as she could’ve to obtain what she wanted. Now I know where I got that trait from!
She was Alita Mendoza Solon, for years a formator of seminarians who’ve since become ordained priests and for much longer than that, a wife and mother. Throughout her life, she received two awards from two different Popes: John Paul II and Benedict XVI. She died last July 17, and one of the thoughts that kept popping in my head was, sana all.
No, I don’t mean I want to follow after, at least not for a few more decades! Sana all because my siblings and I, Axel and Anika, couldn’t even make it to her funeral. Sana all nasa Cebu to say goodbye to her. Sana all fully vaccinated.
We weren’t physically there when she died. We weren’t there for the hour or so after she died, when her lifeless body was brought to the funeral parlor. We weren’t there for her wake, when our loved ones all gathered to pray for her.
Oh well, I guess. What can I do but complain?
What she would’ve wanted
No, Lola wouldn’t have wanted that. Lola probably would’ve been disappointed at the utterly slow rate of vaccinating the country, which can be much faster, but she also would’ve told us to be thankful for what we already have.
In times of crisis, you’ll know who your true friends are. These are the friends who, despite their own problems, will make an effort to reach out to you, even for just a simple and thoughtful message, with no strings attached.
Both my parents went to Lola’s wake and funeral—presided by Cebu Archbishop Jose Palma himself—and it’s just me and my siblings here in Manila. But the messages of support from relatives have been overwhelming. Some relatives (and even one who isn’t!) offered to pay for our meals while our parents were away. Truly they have been family. And it made not attending my grandmother’s funeral so much lighter.
So, I am reminded to always give thanks for the blessings I have and continue to receive. In life, we want to do so many different things, be someone who we’ve always wanted to be, and we can become so focused on that that we forget to fully realize the opportunities and graces of the now. The now is all we have in our hands, so we might as well make full use of it.
And I believe that is what Lola would’ve wanted for me and my siblings: not to force ourselves to fly to Cebu to witness her funeral but to be thankful for the overwhelming support we have received, while we look toward to a COVID-free future.
Eternal rest grant unto her, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon her. Thank you, Lola, and we love you todo-todo, way break, way kambyo!
—CONTRIBUTED INQ
The author is an alumnus of the Ateneo de Manila University.