I was transparent in my agenda when I introduced myself to Atty. Mariliza Villarosa Kalaw. I’m all about women supporting women, especially in the social climate we’ve had for the past few years. She piqued my interest as she is the sole female aspirant as congressional representative of the lone district of Occidental Mindoro.
Atty. Villarosa-Kalaw, or Ate Bunny, as I’ve come to call her, is from a deeply political background. She is the eldest daughter of former Governor/Congressman and Mayor Jose T. Villarosa and former Deputy Speaker Ma. Amelita Calimbas-Villarosa. She is also the wife of Atty. Teodoro Kalaw IV. He carries the legacy of his forebears, including his great-grandfather legislator Teodoro M. Kalaw and grandmother Senator Eva Estrada-Kalaw.
Beyond that, and more importantly, Bunny is fully accomplished in her own right as a lawyer with an MPM from the National University of Singapore’s Lee Kwan Yew School of Public Policy, an MBM from the Asian Institute of Management, and Juris Doctor from Ateneo De Manila University.
She also is accomplished in the world of real estate and is an author. She is the type of woman whose LinkedIn screams “You can do it!” and would be something to show to your daughter if she’s having any doubts about whether she can make it in the wide world.
Given my unique insider look, being cousins to her by law, I immediately grabbed the opportunity to ask her some questions on the crucial matters and what K-Dramas keep her up late at night.
What are the biggest challenges that Occidental Mindoro faces constantly?
Power supply and distribution is an issue. It affects all socio-economic activity, not to mention governance needs.
Connectivity, even just between towns, is an issue. Although the main road network is complete, each town feels isolated due to the size of the province. I propose legislating a Mindoro Railway System to promote and increase the equitable movement of goods, people, and services.
Everything necessary to a good life follows from efficiently and equitably connecting these towns, such as solving internet access problems. Where education, governance, healthcare, agriculture, fisheries, tourism, and business needs are impacted. Children now still get their lessons through paper modules that parents pick up and submit at the schools.
So you see, the biggest challenge in our side of Mindoro right now is still about addressing quality of life issues and making sure the citizens, and our IPs (the Mangyans), are getting the basics of a good life. For those who live in Manila, it might be a little strange how things like power, running, and drinking water are still issues.
What lessons in governance did you get from your mother that will always be with you?
One thing I truly admired about my Mom is that she’s a peacemaker. She’s a person who collaborates. She is a listener. When I was her Chief of Staff in Congress, I often asked how she could deal with people who were so arrogant and dismissive. I used to feel my blood pressure go up when certain people used to talk down because she was a woman.
My Mom spoke to everyone. She would speak to them on their level and listen to them to find some point of commonality. When she found out their belief systems, she would draw them in, then put them together so that they would all work together eventually.
My Mom spoke gently, but she was full of courage. She also had no fear. She never let the situation defeat her. No matter how huge the challenges that she and my Dad would face. My Dad was the first politician in the family, and they went through a lot together.
Her faith and prayer saw her through all of it. No matter what happened, she would go to Mass every day. She would pray the Rosary every day. She remained steadfast in her faith, and that one should never give up. Maybe you won’t succeed right now, but keep on going, and then eventually, God will lead you to the right path and the right people.
I read an interview with Hillary Clinton, where she mentioned that perhaps Angela Merkel’s superpower is that for 16 years, people underestimated her. As a woman with your family background, do you agree with Clinton’s opinion that to be underestimated can be an advantage?
There is indeed truth to that statement because if you’re underestimated, it just follows that they don’t know your weaknesses. They think that you’re weak in the first place, but really, you can use that to make them feel that they can work with you. Perhaps it’s not so much that they underestimated Merkel’s strength, but they thought she was not a threat.
You can think of it in a different light. When you are underestimated, people don’t realize how strong you are. It’s one thing you shouldn’t do because you should know your enemy, to borrow a bit from Sun Tzu.
I also believe it is to our advantage that women are intuitive and observant. We are naturally collaborative, and we are sensitive because we empathize with others. I think these are traits all leaders should have.
What do you advise young women who are looking into entering politics?
I think they should do it. They should do it as early as possible. They should get involved. I came into this by happenstance with my family background and my husband. I first became the one who would support in the background, starting at age 28. It’s a more traditional approach; being on the sidelines first and taking care of the family. Times are different now. Women can do it whenever they have the chance to do so.
I don’t think women should wait, not as I did. I also waited because we didn’t have many mentors. Women leaders should aim to help other women become leaders too. If I were blessed to be given this opportunity to serve, I would want to develop other women too.
There are so many young women out there who would make great leaders in the future. They need someone to believe in them and provide capacity-building opportunities. Empower them to make that choice, so they don’t think they can only serve after achieving specific jobs.
It’s okay to tell women to have ambition. It’s okay to have a dream outside your community or your traditional family activities. There’s nothing wrong with marriage; it’s a gift. But I believe so many women, even young men, miss out on their further development or the chance to contribute more to nation-building when they get married early.
What is the one important lesson that you want to impart to your daughter?
Belief in herself that she can do it and that God is always with her. I will always support her. I will always love her. She can do anything she wants to do. She can be whoever she wants to be, and she can start now.
Of course, I have to ask this, being the wife of Atty. Teodoro Kalaw IV, what’s the smartest thing do you think he’s said?
I’d kid him to go abroad and to live somewhere else when we would get frustrated with the government. He always says he will never leave The Philippines, not just because he is so committed to this country but also because there are so many opportunities that are ignored but just there to realize. That is what made him a pioneer in dispute resolution, sustainability, and governance. I truly admire that sense of what I deem as practical pride, that sense of being a Filipino. I also feel it in my heart. I am so proud of being Filipino.
I feel like to be Filipino is to be global because we love God, we love our people, we love our families and our country, and we’re not ashamed to say it. And yet, we can also love other people. We’re not exclusive. I feel like being Filipino is part of my husband’s identity. He wants to make the Filipino proud. He wants to make the Philippines a better place, and he shows how to do it, whether in a private organization, a philanthropic one, or a business organization. He wants you to do your best in any field of endeavor so that you can contribute to nation-building.
I watch funny compilations of women being asked “typical women things” and the best comebacks to it. I know that as your campaign run goes along, you will get asked those questions. How would you answer them?
Back when I was 40, I would still be offended. Now that I’m 50, when I get asked those kinds of questions, I tend to look at that person asking and accept that they are either old-fashioned or live in a box.
I also think that this means that I still have work to do. People have to realize that women are not just in charge of childcare or running the family home. We also have to recognize that men have something to do with family life too. Many men suffer because nobody acknowledges that they are as essential in the family. Stay-at-home men are looked down upon, and I feel for them too. There is something about this gender divide that offends my sense of justice.
It’s everybody’s right to determine what they want to do and what makes them happy. Nobody should judge their choice of occupation. And if it makes them happy to stay at home, garden, cook, or take care of the kids, then that’s their choice.
Aside from your mother, who are the women in power you admire?
I admire Queen Elizabeth II, the longest-reigning monarch. She’s worked with so many prime ministers, who were all men except for two. She saw the UK’s transition from a traditional to a modern monarchy. How that affected their quality of life and their culture are lessons for us. I also look at the UK because they are an archipelago like us, so that we can draw many lessons from them.
I admire Vice President Kamala Harris for making history as the first female vice president of the United States. She is also the first black and first Asian-American person in her position.
Locally, in The Philippines, I admire my godmother Gloria Macapagal Arroyo. I admire the fact she’s been through so many highs and lows, through hell and high water. She could have bowed out at this stage in her life and yet continues to take a leadership position. She’s running for Congress again. I don’t think she needs to run because she’s already contributed to the country. She’s already left a legacy. She’s probably doing it to help give some stability in these times. Or to contribute what she knows in terms of statesmanship. It’s not about popularity, but it’s about service.
I feel that these women leaders have made their mark. They affect society, whether in terms of public policy or the identity of nationhood, or taking strides for women.
What’s the most important book you’ve read?
The most important book I’ve read would be this series called The Poem of the Man-God by Maria Valtorta. I found this in my thirties when I wanted to know more about the hidden life of Jesus. All the details are left unsaid in the Bible. When you fall in love, especially when you fall in love with God, you always want to know more.
In 8th grade, my favorite book was Margaret Mitchell’s Gone With the Wind. As a senior in high school, it was Les Misérables by Victor Hugo. In college, I most enjoyed the works of Jeffrey Archer, Robert Ludlum, and Ken Follet.
How does someone as busy as you are wind down?
You’re going to laugh at me. I learned this again from my Mom. Once, during our traditional family Sunday lunches, sometime in February 2020, I noticed my Mom was puyat and was nodding off to sleep. I rattled off a string of questions, “Mom, what’s wrong with you? What time did you sleep last night? What did you do? Did you work?” and, “Where did you go? Did you go to Manaoag?” To this tirade, she says, “No, I finished Crash Landing On You.”
I didn’t know what she was talking about, so I kept asking her, and that’s where it all started. I love K-Dramas now, aside from the usual Netflix and HBO fare. I’ve been subscribed to Viu and had a Gong Yoo and Lee Joon-gi phase. I’ve recently completed True Beauty, Mr. Queen, and The Penthouse.
This interview has been edited for brevity and clarity.