“In order to love who you are, you cannot hate the experiences that shaped you.” —Andrea Dykstra
As 2021 comes to a close, I think about a word that defines this year for me personally. Although 2021 has been quite challenging and life-altering, my word would be “self-love.”
At the intimate birthday party of dear friend Anton San Diego, I asked the guests the single word that best describes 2021 to them. Lots of words like “possibilities,” “resilience,” “health,” “gratitude,” “horizon” and “faith” were thrown in, and we all agreed with one another’s individual sharing. Our gracious host, Cris Albert, cheered for Anton and thanked him for including her in Tatler Philippines’ Asia’s Most Influential List.
She also jokingly shared her word for the year—”Fila.”
It was indeed a wonderful night of friendship, gratefulness and celebration of life. After months of being on strict social confinement, being able to enjoy some laughter and cheers was literally a breath of fresh air. The delightful outdoor setup of Manila House made everyone feel safer and secure.
Caring for ourselves
Self-love can mean something different for each person, since we all have a different concept of caring for ourselves. As a baseline, self-love means having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. Self-love means taking care of our own needs and not sacrificing our well-being to please others. Self-love means not settling for less than what we deserve.
Prioritizing our physical, emotional and mental well-being is not about being selfish or self-centered. It is merely accepting oneself with no judgment and being true to yourself and everything that you are at this very moment.
Because of this dreadful pandemic, self-love is also about self-care. To practice self-care, we need to go back to the basics of listening to our bodies and living a healthier lifestyle through exercise and proper nutrition. I have learned the value of supplements like Usana to aid in my journey to wellness.
There are several avenues to promoting self-love. Becoming mindful of what we feel and want is critical in this goal. By staying focused on our personal needs and desires of the heart, we become more aware of the positive energy we can create and turn away from automatic behavior patterns that trigger us to self-destruction. By continuously practicing self-love daily through healthy activities, like sound nutrition, exercise, proper sleep, intimacy and healthy social interactions, we gain so much awareness and growth.
Feeding our soul
We need to feed our soul every day with love and compassion for ourselves so we can then share these with others. We can better handle stress, face and overcome challenges, maintain and build relationships, and recover from difficulties and setbacks. No one can tell you that you are too big as a person and blame you for their insecurities.
With a greater sense of meaning and purpose, we are able to enjoy life, deal with stress and bounce back from adversity. Even if we experience disappointment, loss or unwanted change, we have the armor of resilience to overcome all.
There are numerous ways to gain contentment. Partake in activities that make you feel happy and productive and challenge your creativity. Whether through drawing, taking an exercise class, going out to dinner with friends or caring for a pet, spending quality time with those who matter to you can make you feel good.
The meaning and purpose derived from helping others or the community can enrich and expand your life—and make you happier. There’s no limit to the individual and group volunteer opportunities you can explore. Schools, places of worship, nonprofits and charitable organizations of all sorts depend on volunteers for help in any capacity.
One such project was the successful artistic Christmas auction by Tatler Philippines and Shangri-La at The Fort Manila, which was held via a private event on Zoom. Five generous and talented creatives breathed life into 4-foot-tall nutcracker statues, painting and decorating according to each of their own tastes.
Elena Coyiuto, Tracie Anglo Dizon, Rajo Laurel, Bea Valdes and Tim Yap created their own artistic expression of the nutcracker soldier for auction. Christmas nutcracker soldiers are decorative nutcracker statues, most commonly made to resemble a toy soldier. It was said that in German tradition, the dolls are symbols of good luck, frightening away malevolent spirits and protecting your home. The nutcracker soldier originates from late 17th-century Germany.
Supporting 18,000 children
To reach out and make a tangible difference as we usher in the holidays, the proceeds of the auction were used to fund noche buena hampers which will be delivered by Shangri-La at The Fort’s cheeky elves to Kythe Foundation Inc.’s children.
Kythe is a nonprofit, nonstock organization aimed toward improving the quality of life of children undergoing treatment for cancer and other chronic illness. The foundation supports over 18,000 children every year.
Tatler Philippines’ Irene Martel-Francisco was so overwhelmed by the generous bidders. All went for much more than expected. Winning bidders included Butch Campos who got Rajo’s nutcracker, Lana Faith Johnson who won Tim’s nutcracker, and Paolo and Cristina Martel who got Bea’s nutcracker. Brian Poe Llamanzares got Elena’s creation, and Alelee Andanar won Tracie’s.
If one grows up without any models for self-love or anyone who talked about the importance of being good to oneself, we may question its value. We may more likely tolerate abuse or mistreatment from others. Because of a lack of self-love, we neglect our own feelings and make wrong decisions that are harmful for our own best interest.
Self-love is the foundation that allows us to be assertive, set boundaries and create healthy relationships with others, practice self-care, pursue our interests and goals, and feel proud of who we are. It is about respect. So for the remainder of 2021, I will love myself so I can give more love to all who touch my soul!
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