Good or bad, I have this tendency to come away from a lunch or dinner remembering not the food we ate, but who said what. My memory for food is as bad as my memory for quotes is good.

What follows are quotes I remember from lunches/dinners the past few weeks—my meal takeaway, you can call them. While I remember who said these, including their facial expressions (luckily I don’t believe any of my regular friends has had Botox, thus they can still “express”), I’m not putting attribution in some cases, simply because I like to keep my friends and contacts; it’s lonely to be a social pariah.

Some recent “OMG” quotes. I got them from different lunches/dinners, and I’m running them at random:

“I just realize watching Miriam (Santiago) stresses me out. I don’t get stressed in the office, I get stressed watching her,” said an impeachment trial daily viewer.

“Simple…just mute your TV. I do, when I see her coming on,” said another daily viewer.

“I’m good..happy. I don’t watch the impeachment kasi,” said Jessica Zafra when asked how she is doing.

“There are at least nine gays in that body,” said a society watcher, about the amorous tendencies of a socialite who continues to be linked to one hunk after another.

“(Alliances between) Wives and mistresses follow a pattern, I’ve observed. No. 1 is ally with No. 3, No. 2 usually gets along with No. 4,” said a social wag who’s been a not-so-silent witness to the travails of wives and mistresses. The science behind his theory, he didn’t explain.

“We call them the Bermuda Triangle…they’re so good-looking daw you get magnetized by their presence. You get sucked in,” said a woman, when talk veered to Hayden Kho, Robin Padilla, and such.

“If they made it so difficult for me, I would have poured the ashes on myself like baby powder, and told them, see, you can’t get him, I’m wearing him,” a social chronicler recalled the statement of a longtime mistress of a former government official who died on her, whose remains had been cremated and the ashes flown back home—and turned over to the legal wife. This happened a long time ago, take note, so it had nothing to do with the, uh, “Iggy situation.”

“Ah, well, he’s just so in touch with his feminine side,” said a gay, when asked about a man who was obviously so gay but couldn’t out himself. That must really be a politically correct way of describing one’s gender orientation.

“I no longer make one person the only source of my happiness,” said a guy, obviously after not finding happiness with one person.

“The legs are always the last to go,” said a woman at a tableful of women talking about wrinkles, eyebags and other inevitable signs of aging. Small consolation—the legs are the last to bear the tell-tale signs.

“That’s why more and more women are resorting to ‘er,’” said one woman when talk veered to cads, unfaithful husbands or boyfriends. Huh, what “er?” “You know—trainer, dancing partner and any other ‘er’ whose services you can tap and terminate at will,” she explained. Oh so.