US second gentleman Douglas Emhoff: ‘We need more of me’

Douglas Emhoff walked into the Quezon Foyer of the National Museum of Fine Arts (NMFA) on Monday and Jeremy Barns, the museum’s director, was there to welcome him. “How’s your trip?” Barns asked.

“It’s been a whirlwind,” the second gentleman of the United States replied.

Emhoff and his wife, US Vice President Kamala Harris, had landed in Manila the previous day from Bangkok, where they attended the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation (Apec) summit.

While his wife was in Malacañang to meet with President Ferdinand Marcos Jr. and Vice President Sara Duterte, Emhoff was at the museum to look at “Progress of Medicine in the Philippines,” four murals painted by National Artist Carlos “Botong” Francisco in 1953.

The murals, which used to hang at the main entrance hall of the Philippine General Hospital, had been restored in 2008, thanks to a grant from the US Ambassadors Fund for Cultural Preservation Award.

The restoration, which took 15 months, undid years of deterioration caused by pollution, termite infestation and even vandalism.

Barns pointed out the part of the paintings devoted to the American period.

“Incredible,” Emhoff said.

Later, Barns told Lifestyle, “It’s a great honor for us to have Mr. Emhoff here. We were happy to show him one of our national cultural treasures, which was restored about 10 years ago with the support of the US government. It kind of symbolizes the friendship between the Philippines and the US.”

‘I remember’

It wasn’t Emhoff’s first time at the museum. In June, he led the US delegation to President Marcos’ inauguration, which was held at the NMFA. At one point during the tour, as Barns shared that the building used to house the Philippine Congress, Emhoff said, “I remember.”

Barns led Emhoff to another gallery, one that the museum has devoted to female Filipino artists. There, Emhoff looked at the sculptures that make up Impy Pilapil’s “Circa” exhibit.

Later, as he walked through a hallway featuring the works of 80 Filipino artists, Emhoff spotted another creation of Pilapil—the serigraph “Dreamers Zone II.” “Thank you for noticing,” Barns said.

That Emhoff took notice of a Filipina artist’s work wasn’t surprising. As the US’ first second gentleman (or second dude, as some Gen Zers like to call him), he’s become a symbol of sorts for men championing women, a proud, proud husband.

Emhoff, who met Harris on a blind date in 2013, gave up a successful law practice in support of his wife’s political career.

Back in Gallery XVI, otherwise known as the Philippine General Hospital Hall, Lifestyle sat down with Emhoff for an exclusive interview. Before we started, he asked for a sip of his coffee “so I could have high energy for you,” he said.

We asked, is he particular about his coffee? “Yes. Black and lots of it,” he said, with a twinkle in his eye.

What have been the highlights of your trip to Asia, and how does it feel to be back in the Philippines?

It’s great to be back. I was right in this very room at the National Museum a few months ago for the inauguration of President Marcos. It was a huge honor that President Biden sent me, the second gentleman, to lead the presidential delegation. And now that I’m back, I have relationships here, I’m seeing people again and it’s been an incredibly warm welcome for me personally, and also for the vice president. The whole trip has been a highlight. I’m here to support my wife, the vice president, first and foremost, so to see her on the world stage, I love to see that. It’s great for our country, it’s great for the world. So just being here with her to support her is really what it’s all about.

We love your tweet about your fellow spouses, that photo of you standing with all the women. We’re curious—what’s the dynamic like when you’re the lone male in a group of political spouses?

Well, that needs to change, we need more of me, we need more men supporting women in leadership, we need more women leaders, and I joke, but it’s not a joke. I’m the first second gentleman, but I better not be the last. That’s part of why that image, I think, was so compelling. But it was also a great moment to meet other spouses from around the world and spouses, no matter where they’re from, of elected officials, leaders, have something in common. We are supporting someone that we love who has put themselves out there to do public office. So that was interesting. Also, just being in Asia and being a representative of United States at APEC and just knowing that our spouses were there talking about very important issues for the world was also very special.

We love that you named your kids Ella and Cole after musical greats. How would you describe yourself as a dad? What’s your parenting style?

Well, I really wanted to show the kids the way by example. I wasn’t a micromanager. As a father, I was more of a, “Look, I’ve worked hard in my life.” Kamala, the Vice President, their mother Kerstin, there’s three of us, it’s a three-headed parenting machine, and we’re all very driven, kind of successful people. We really want to just show the children that there’s no substitute for hard work, there’s no substitute for setting goals, for ambition, all those things are important. It’s going great. They’re both doing well, but they need us. What we realize being in these roles as vice president and second gentleman is making sure we stay connected to Cole and Ella as parents, checking in on how they’re doing, not talking about our trips, not talking about the work we’re doing, and really focusing on what they’re doing. And that’s been the key. So even though they’re in their 20s, the job of a parent doesn’t end. In fact, it’s more challenging at times now that they are in adulthood and finding their way.

You had a fantastic law practice and you’ve always been passionate about justice and equality. How do you continue that fight as second gentleman?

It’s a great platform, being second gentleman, and I just didn’t forget my whole life and career before becoming second gentleman. So much of what I do is informed by justice and why I became a lawyer, to fight against bullies, to stand up for other people. Good lawyers stand up for others and represent them. And that ethos and that experience have really informed how I approached the role as second gentleman, so trying to find issues where people are being mistreated, taken advantage of, where there’s inequity—my background really helps identify those issues and trying to advocate for those issues on behalf of the Biden-Harris administration.

You have crazy schedules, but during quiet times, what do you and VP Kamala like to do? How do you relax? What do you do for fun?

She loves to cook.

What’s your favorite thing that she cooks?

She cooks a lot of different kinds, but it’s Bolognese, spaghetti Bolognese, she makes an incredible Bolognese. It takes her days to make it, she’ll let it simmer and it’s so good. She’ll make extra so when she’s on the road and I’m home alone, she wants to makes sure I’ve got something to eat so there’s tubs of that. She loves to cook, I love to cook with her. We love to listen to music. We watch some shows. We just watched “The House of Dragons,” the “Game of Thrones” prequel. We loved that. It’s like a lot of couples, we’re so busy, a lot of it is just being able to talk to each other about the kids, about our families, about what’s happening with our friends because we don’t have a lot of time the way we used to. So we really try to cherish those rare downtime moments.