Very few women could tell you that they have had serious relationships with a two-time Academy Award-winning actor and a 17-time Grammy award winning singer, and married a British royal.
She belongs to the most elite circles in the world yet Minda Feliciano Lonsdale glows with humility, quiet elegance and sincerity. She has a life full of stories that will put even the best fiction writers to shame, and one afternoon she shares with us her old loves, her heartbreaks and real-life fairy tales.
We learn that it has been three years since she lost her prince charming, Norman Lonsdale a.k.a Lord Armadale, yet she clearly has not gotten over him. “I lost my prince charming,” she said. “We were always told that they will live happily ever after. There should be a story after losing your prince… What happens when he goes?”
Indeed, how can one forget great love? And since forgetting seems impossible, she shares her stories instead.
Are you called a “Lady” because of your husband?
My husband is a direct descendant of the Duke of Wellington. That’s true. But his uncle, Sir Norman Strong, a Prime Minister of Ireland during the bad times, was killed by the IRA and his house was burned. He didn’t have an heir…so his brother, who is my father-in-law, should have gotten the title but he didn’t want the title. They still call my husband Lord Armadale but he also didn’t want it. I said, “Please, I want to be called Lady Minda!”
One time, when we were here last and you know how nobody celebrates Valentine’s Day in London…the doorbell rang and there were these beautiful orchids. The card said: “Lady Minda, Happy Valentine’s. Thanks for arranging this wonderful trip to Manila.”
He was always kidding about me being Lady Minda, you know. But really, we don’t really have that title officially. Even on his deathbed. He really hated all that. He was so down-to-earth.
What about Princess Margaret and him?
He was going out with Princess Margaret for a long time. When I met him, she was madly in love with him. I didn’t know that. I had no idea who he was when we first met… It was through Anouska Hempel who had stayed with me in my yacht for a few days. When I went to London, she had a dinner party and there Norman was.
Was it love at first sight?
Yes. The minute I walked in and we got up to dance, oh, the newspapers started taking pictures! The next day it was all in the Times, The Mail. You see, Norman, I had no idea, had been invited the next day to a party at Windsor Castle for Princess Margaret and the children. He refused it. Not because of me—I hardly knew him then! The newspapers were saying Norman refused because of me, and such! But the real reason was that his father wasn’t well and he had to spend the weekend in the country.
The next day, we were both reading the newspapers finding out who we were! So, whenever we see the newspapers, we say they started our romance.
Did you ever feel any hostility from Princess Margaret?
No. You know, it’s funny how they are, the royal family. No matter how they felt, they would always show proper decorum… Whenever we received an invitation from Princess Margaret, I never wanted to go. Once in a while I did but if I could get away with not going, I would… I mean, she was his close friend and I thought it would be better if I didn’t come.
I told him, this is your friend and I would never come between you and your friends just like you don’t with mine. Although, he adopted all of my friends! Joan Collins, Roger Moore, Liza Minnelli…he preferred my friends more because they were more colorful! (laughs)
Was Norman married?
He was a widower. He had a wonderful reputation and he was never divorced…that’s why the Queen really liked him.
Why did he call you naughty?
It was only because he was proper and I was always crossing the line. I’m always overweight with my suitcases and he could never stop me. I’d bring in food from other countries… I call him “Naughtier!” With all his notes and letters to me, he always signs it “Dear Naughty” and I called him “Dear Naughtier”…we never, believe me, had arguments. We never quarreled.
What’s the secret to keeping a marriage successful? What with all those handsome men courting and surrounding you?
For me, they were always first. I can tell what he needs and I have to do it. I know their favorite food, their favorite clothes and it was there before they knew it… That’s the secret. You almost become another leg, another arm… They can’t exist without you. But it comes naturally to me…to please them and cater to them…for me it’s wonderful, it makes me happy and now that’s what I miss the most because I haven’t got anyone to do that for.
You hail from Pampanga. Many beauty titleholders come from there. What does a woman need to do to get the attention of a man, aside from wearing a mini skirt? I mean the real attention.
It’s never just the looks. It’s when they talk to you and get to know you. I think that’s the only way to get a man. You can tell when you first talk to them, if you have the same interests. You don’t just go out with every Tom, Dick and Harry… I never chased my men…they chased me. Because of that, I think when you are more elusive, they’re more interested.
How come you didn’t pursue an acting career? You were in “Hawaiian Eye” in an episode, “3 Times to Lani,” in your early 20s.
I know! I should have! I saw it the other day because my nephew found it. God! I had a body…I had a bottom like Jennifer Lopez and a waistline like this! (forms a tiny waist with her hands) And not only that—I acted well!…but “Hawaiian Eye” never really took off.
I’m curious, with your 100-ft yacht named after you, what is your favorite spot in the world?
Italy is my favorite spot. I love Capri very much… Turkey is wonderful. I mean, name it, we’ve seen it. But Norman, he didn’t really like places like St. Tropez because he wasn’t very social…because the minute we anchor, everybody would just want to come onboard. He just wanted to swim. The moment he wakes up in the morning, he was always in the water. He wasn’t really a party man.
Oh, also because there’s this tennis court in Capri, and the owner became a friend. We had a tennis coach who traveled with us. That’s another thing I do, because I know he likes tennis. The minute we’d arrive in a place and even before he gets up, I’d be checking out where the best tennis court would be. I always made sure he was happy. That made me happy.
I’d also wake up very early in the morning and since he loves fish, I’d buy from the fishermen their fresh catch. I was also a rescue diver before so I would dive and find sea urchins!
You’ve been jet-setting, partying with the handsomest celebrities. Who do you think makes a good lover? French, American, British, German…?
It’s hard to pinpoint a nationality. People were always saying the Brits are not good lovers but not the ones I was with! I like their sense of humor. They laugh at themselves!
Michael Caine, whom you have been with, had an eye for exotic beauty like Bianca before the Jagger days… How come you said he had a volcanic temper?
It was when he’d drink and the screaming that went on. I don’t know how many times I packed up my clothes but then the next morning he’d be like “Please Minda…”
I think it’s because he was such a hard worker. He accepted every film he was ever offered. I was in every location with him, waking up before he did. The thing is, we never ever fought about something I did but always about what somebody did or said.
One time at a dinner party, he had just finished filming “Get Carter.” In that film, he took off his clothes…the industry was down and he was upset about that. He was very worried about becoming poor. So, he took this film and one guy said something like: “You don’t have to make a porn movie.”
When we got home, he was very upset about the comment. I would usually make him hot chocolate before bed and I had placed the hot chocolate on his bedside. Suddenly, I heard a scream. He had accidentally spilled the hot chocolate on him and couldn’t find a container for cold water. Somehow, he ended up blaming me… That’s what I’m saying. We never fought about something we did but always about what somebody did… Things like that.
At what point did you say you had had enough?
Well, it wasn’t ever because “I’ve had enough.” I loved him. All his friends adored me… It was because of me that he became good friends with Roger Moore and Joan Collins!
I remember one afternoon, he yelled for me to come see a commercial on TV. He said I looked like this girl and I didn’t think so! Anyway, that’s how I knew he still wasn’t over me because after we had broken up, he looked for this girl. That’s how I knew he was madly in love with me. He would never admit this story but I swear on my son it’s true! He asked his agent to look for her and she was in London. She was working on commercials and when she had met Michael, she stayed.
(The woman in the commercial turned out to be Shakira Baksh, who represented Guyana in the 1967 Miss World in London. Michael Caine ended up marrying her in 1973.)
You have such an amazing memory, Minda! Especially about your love stories!
That’s why I’m writing my memoirs before my memory goes. I realize after a while, when talking to people and a story comes up and it’s funny and interesting, they’re like “my God, you did that?!” but for me it was just natural…it was ordinary. But then I realize now that it’s NOT ordinary!
What about Tony Bennett? Why did the romance not end up down the aisle?
Oh, Tony was wonderful…he was special. We still see each other. The only thing with Tony was when I had met him, he was down… He was working in Vegas and there weren’t many people who would watch him… Tony was shy but he’s brilliant.
When he came here, I welcomed him at the airport so he somehow became dependent on me. That’s how it started… Tokyo, Vermont, London…name it, I went with him.
We’d go out to eat in a restaurant and he’d look to me to order. He became dependent on me. But then, there was a time when it was either he would get serious with me or focus on his career…so I started easing myself out. When people ask him, he always says, “She left me.”
But now, I’d always watch him when I know he’s performing. He adored my husband! He was always “This is Lord Armadale! You should see his castle!” They even played tennis.
I know you were very happily married but do you think you would remarry?
I don’t think so. I’m past that now. I mean, that is a hard act to follow. Where can you meet someone like Norman? I was just very lucky with Tony and Michael…because they’re not like the others in the industry.
How come you never married a Filipino?
Because I was never here! I went straight to Australia for university… I haven’t really had any…except your father. Oh, he was wonderful. He had a soul so deep… I don’t even know if I should tell you this! He wanted to divorce your mother for me and I said, “JV, what are we going to live on? If you become an ambassador to the court of St. James, then I’ll marry you.”
I was joking! But then later on we met at a party and he did become the ambassador! He was a wonderful man. So sweet and so giving. He and your mom were glued together.
Have you ever cheated on any of your relationships?
Well, not with the men I’m serious with. Of course, I’ve had romances… But, yeah, I did. But when I was in love with somebody, they were always just the one.
Who would you like to go to bed with now in your fantasy? Why him?
I don’t think about that anymore! I don’t even think of it! (laughs)
You are one of the few Filipinos who have never broken ties to the country. Others don’t even come back. What keeps you coming back?
I love it. All of my family is living in America. I have a smattering of cousins and nieces here. I still love to come! I love this country; that’s why I’m looking for a place here. I decided I want a place here because I want my son and my grandson to know the country. My son studied at International School here so he could know Tagalog. He speaks other languages but he understands Tagalog.
You have been all over the world. Where would your final resting place be? We all make plans.
I’m going to be buried beside my husband. It’s in the 12th-century church where we got married. In his grave, he’s got room there for me. He’s got a tombstone and I’ll be there too. My name will be there. We’ve already decided on that.
Do you believe in God?
Oh, yes. Absolutely.
What is a typical evening prayer for Minda before going to bed?
It’s always gratitude. Even for a long, long time, I always thank Him for giving me a wonderful life.
I like listening to Eckhart Tolle. He wrote “The Power of Now” and it tells you the most important thing: that the most important thing is now. The reason I love him is because I was always doing that. I realized that I have always been living in the moment. Even with the tragedies in your life, you are still you…and God is in you.