Five minutes into the car ride, it felt like there were bricks on my arms that only got heavier with each passing second. Ten minutes into the car ride, delusion convinced me that I was already developing muscles because of the amount of time I spent covering my bangs with my bag so the mini electric fan in the car would stop ruining them. I worked so hard on ironing my bangs and the wind constantly blowing against it only made me want to rip the fan apart and throw it out of the car. Thankfully, it wasn’t only my hair that got hit that day. Moments later, I hit an epiphany.
The problem with birthdays is that we put them on a pedestal. To put someone or something on a pedestal means to admire the subject greatly to the point that we believe it has no faults. This is dangerous because we end up idealizing them and getting disappointed by the smallest flaws.
Sure, birthdays are celebrated only once a year—one day out of 365. It is an event that is nothing but sparkling, shining and special. One entire day just for you. One day where nothing is supposed to go wrong.
Too many expectations
When it comes to special events, we expect every little thing to go as planned because that day is supposed to be perfect and filled with only the best of memories (or maybe it’s just me because I’m a perfectionist). Then the moment the tiniest of slip-ups happens, the day is easily ruined and suddenly considered a catastrophe for the books. We start comparing it to other days that weren’t planned to be perfect but turned out well. However, the truth is that those days turned out great because there weren’t any expectations. There was only fun without any intrusive thoughts taking over.
I used to be obsessed with same-day party celebrations. My birthday is on Nov. 29, so parties and outings would usually happen the following day, since Nov. 30 is a holiday. But I would reason that since my birthday is on the 29th, it had to be celebrated on the 29th. I thought not celebrating it on the day itself made it less exceptional. I thought everything had to happen during that one day—the social media posts, the cake, the party and everything else. Why celebrate a birthday on a day you weren’t born?
I was putting my birthday on a pedestal. I had too many expectations for only the same set of 24 hours I get every day. The bangs story is now nothing but a memory to laugh at—a single strand that was out of place almost ruined the entire day. Love your birthday for what it is, not for the idea of what it should be. We are not supposed to be legalistic about occasions like these. What matters is that we celebrate what needs to be celebrated.
Birthdays are one of the most meaningful celebrations ever because it commemorates the day you came into this world with the people who love you the most! One of the best things about humanity is their love of life and the celebration of almost everything.
Your birthday is not special because of what you do. It is special because you were born on that day. No matter what happens on your birthday, it will never take away its value. Similarly, it does not matter how many times you crumple or step on a thousand-peso bill because it will remain a thousand-peso bill no matter what.
An ideal birthday is accepting that it will not always go exactly as planned, yet loving it no matter what. The secret to a perfect birthday is taking it off the pedestal. After all, pedestals are meant only for birthday decorations and centerpieces.
—CONTRIBUTED