“I was six months into my first advertising job as a copywriter—totally naïve and trusting of seniors in the business. One of our bosses held his birthday party at a bar, and it was there that a guy from another big agency gave me his calling card—it said SENIOR WRITER—and said they were looking for writers so I should give him a call. I went home that night super giddy that I was considered ‘pirate-able’ so early in my career. Turns out the guy just wanted my number. I was crushed. And he was also going out with two other girls at that time.”—Maui V. Reyes
“Someone once jokingly asked me, “Beer ka ba?” I gamely replied, “Bakit?” “You’re super dry!” I swear I didn’t see it coming. Apparently, I wasn’t being hit on. There’s also one I want to use for revenge: “Energy drink ka ba?” “Bakit?” “Kasi mukha mo, parang Cobra.”—Jesse Pizarro Boga
“As a college freshman, I offered to be a high-school senior’s math tutor. Nine years later, we got married! That’s both best and worst, I think. I’m terrible at math.”—Miao Olivar
“I tried this as a joke pero the girl found it funny. Me: Hala, Miss nahulog oh! Girl: Huh? Ano, ano nahulog? Me: Puso ko. Nahulog puso ko sayo. *wink wink*”— IZ Lacson
“My geek friend said to this international hotshot academic researcher: “Hi, Dave. You’re always in my footnotes!”—Chely Vibal Esguerra
“Do you know where the lingerie area is? I need to buy something for my sister. Maybe you can help me?”—Coco Pablo
“’Di tayo tao, ’di tayo hayop, bagay tayo. Oo, bagay tayo.”—Angela Ignacio
“You look like my mom.” —Jan R.
I dated this actor and on our first date I asked him to reenact a role he had done for a movie. He said he would do it but only if I kissed him. No reenactments happened—well, not until the third date!—Denise Mallabo, T-shirt peddler (The Dahlin’ Shirts)
My friend had a big bloke say to her once, “Feel how rough my hands are, how do you fancy them rubbing your fanny?” Really, these Brits!—Cherry Cuevas
A guy asked me once, “So what one guy you want?” I didn’t get it until he finally asked in Filipino, “Anong gusto mo sa isang lalaki?”—Sabs Hernandez-Dy Liacco, makeup artist
I told someone “I love your tattoo,” and he replied “I love YOU.”—Jill Genio, lawyer
We were at a Katy Perry concert when a policeman came up to my friend and asked if she were a flower because she smelled so good. True story. —Alma Buenviaje, PR executive
A friend of mine was asked by a guy if she were a tricycle—because he wanted to ride her for a short period of time.—Ina de Guzman
My husband asked me if I were bringing sexy back when I started going to the gym!—Myleen Castro
A friend received a text from a guy that said “Cum over.” It was either from a sex fiend or a certified player. Ick!—Quel Valencia, writer
I hate it when they get too touchy!—Dan Ramos, writer
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