DEAR EMILY,
I am a single girl, divorced, no children, and living abroad. My relatives have all assumed it was my fault that my husband left me, and have badgered me with nonstop questions since then. It irked me so much that I stopped going to family functions here or calling relatives in the Philippines, just to evade questions like these. I got tired of having to explain myself to them.
Then, I met this wonderful guy I broke my rules for. We started living together, and I am now pregnant. In my mind and in my heart, I want to have a family with this man. And he feels the same about me. However, we are not married, and not even engaged. He asked me once if I ever wanted to get married again, and my answer was, to the right person and at the right time. That hurt him.
He was so excited when we found out I was pregnant, and he started planning for the future. However, when he began dropping hints that he didn’t want to have a bastard child, I started withdrawing and telling him that getting married is not the priority right now, just the child in my belly. I am just so scared of getting married again.
The thing is, I am terrified to share the news of my pregnancy with anyone. I know there’s nothing wrong with my situation, but I am bothered by my religious beliefs and what other people, especially my relatives, would say. However, something very important is happening in my life, and I can’t just go back into my shell and hide from all those people.
CONFUSED
Have you been told that mankind has already reached the 21st century? That you can be spotted anywhere on earth by that all-seeing eye in the sky with just a click of a button? And that every conceivable gadget and technical knowhow is now available on almost any street corner? Don’t these scream that we’ve gotten out of the dark ages already – and have progressed many times over?
How come you’re still living under a rock, so to speak? Aren’t you interested in taking a peek out and seeing how many of us have already adjusted to the new world order? How we’ve long been emancipated from the shackles of narrow-mindedness? Or how we now have the freedom to think for ourselves and the liberty to steer the course of our lives ourselves?
Sadly, despite having lived abroad, you have not had your mind liberated from fear. Your thinking is still tied to the debilitating quagmire of a small-town mentality, that fear of “my religious beliefs” and “what relatives will say” mumbojumbo. Didn’t you say you’re tired of them yourself?
Anyone who doesn’t contribute to your knowledge, or doesn’t put the food on your table, or mostly just stifles your freedom of thought and deed should, without question, be booted out of your existence!
Why are you choosing to be unhappy when a seeming promise of unbounded joy is right before your very eyes? Are you not seeing it, or are you just refusing to recognize it? Are you prepared to lose this wonderful man you’ve waited for all your life – just to allow others to run your life?
Think again.
E-mail emarcelo@inquirer.com.ph or emarcelo629@gmail.com—subject: Lifestyle.