Harvard-trained psychiatrist Dr. Alok Kanojia failed in college because of video game addiction. His parents couldn’t help; nothing they had grown up with resembled how addictive technology has become. After more than five years, Dr. Kanojia graduated and went to medical school to take up psychiatry. He asked his superiors about video game addiction, but they were over 50 years old and couldn’t relate, so Kanojia decided to help gamers.
“Today, 98 percent of people under the age of 30 play video games,” he said at the Screen Time & Mental Health Summit by Bright & Quirky, where he shared the latest research on the effects of video games on young people’s brains and behavior.
Dr. Kanojia defined healthy gaming as recognizing the needs games fulfill and giving kids healthy alternatives to meet those needs. “The goal is not sobriety but to have a healthy relationship with behavioral and technological addictions like food, sex, shopping or gaming,” he explained.
He described addiction as an impairment of function; if it interferes and causes problems with one’s relationships, profession or studies. Helping children build a life outside of video gaming leads to a decline in video game use.
Helping gamers His company, Healthy Gamer (HG), doesn’t diagnose. Instead, they help gamers build healthier in-person lives and rebuild social skills: how to flirt, how not to be creepy and what it means to be creepy. They also equip parents with skills to manage kids who may have social skills atrophy, as it correlates with more anxiety. For instance, on Valentine’s Day, they had a Social Sandbox where 300 people practiced asking someone out on a date.
“What happens with these kids is they’re sent to a psychiatrist for anxiety or a mood disorder since there isn’t an official diagnosis for video gaming-related conditions yet. They’re given antidepressants, but they still don’t know how to ask someone out,” Dr. Kanojia said.
He said that the biggest issues these kids face are getting off screen and losing interest in other things. Platforms like Google, TikTok and Meta are very ‘dopaminergic’; they all compete for you to scroll and click and stay online. Anytime they win, you lose because what you’re not doing is what you’re supposed to be doing.When you give your body a constant stream of dopamine, it develops a tolerance for a certain level of pleasure. It requires more extreme, more adrenaline-pumping video games to keep you engaged.
Reading a book has a lower dopamine release. The body needs to be weaned from extreme levels to get used to a lower level, which is why a two-week dopamine detox is in HG’s curriculum. Dr. Kanojia said that boredom is the brain’s way of craving dopamine; if you can tolerate it for a bit, your brain will find a way to occupy itself in another way. The main thing they teach their population is to change their relationship with boredom—understanding what it is and that it won’t kill you. New environment
He observed that today’s parents use skills their parents used on them, but there was no technology as invasive as it is now, so parents lack the skills to navigate this new environment. HG first helps parents understand how tech works and how it affects the mind’s psychology and neuroscience.
“Games have become a way to socialize. What many parents don’t realize is that when you restrict the game, you are also taking away your child’s social support network. So kids resist this because many of their psychological needs are met through gaming. That’s what they’re taking away from their kids,” explained Dr. Kanojia. For anxious or depressed kids, that can tank mood even more. Kids who are addicted usually have autism or a mood disorder, and games help them cope and shut off negative feelings.
Usually, when parents are intervening, it’s to set limits and that makes them the bad guy. HG encourages parents to build an alliance with their children. Just like they can’t be sober for someone else, they can’t force someone else into recovery.
Dr. Kanojia advised getting parents and children on the same team. Ask: Why do you play video games? What does it do for you? What do you like to do other than game? They usually uncover some challenges that the child is facing.
Then, invite the child to observe: Is the first hour of play more fun than the fourth? Play becomes more neutral, even frustrating and even a 7-year-old will know that three hours in, they’re not having as much fun as they used to.
He also recommended asking the child what they want to be when they grow up, if they are popular in school, and if they have friends. Then ask how you can help them achieve their goals. If they want to feel better in their bodies, they can’t get it by playing video games.
Align with what the child wants. “You’ll run into a lot more denial when you’re right. The kid knows what they need or want; it has to come from them. Ask: ‘Do your current actions and habits fit with your future vision of yourself?’” asked Dr. Kanojia. He encouraged parents to listen to their kids first and let them set their goals. Then, ask: if this is your goal, how do you want to get there? That’s where he sees progress, because by then, they’re not fighting the parent.
Strategies
Dr. Kanojia shared practical tips for handling gaming habits, establishing healthy limits, and nurturing social skills:
Take screens out of the bedroom. Consoles or gadgets inside the room increase usage by 50 percent, so limit access by putting them in a common area.
Set boundaries you can enforce. If you say they can’t play for more than two hours and don’t follow through on the limit you impose, it just teaches your child to ignore your words. Because what’s the consequence? If they listen to you, they stop playing. If not, they get to keep playing. Most parents set limits when they are emotional, so stay cool.
Teach restraint over restriction. Take an interest in what your child is watching and build their critical thinking by explaining why a particular content is a good choice.
Avoid short-form content like the plague. It shortens and weakens attention span during development. The brain will lose the function to pay attention to something if it doesn’t have to. Pick a show or a movie—no random clicking on 15 things on YouTube for an hour and a half. Steer clear of 60-second compilation vids, it’s an endless spurt of dopamine instead of allowing a child to follow a plot or appreciate character development in a story.
“Prepare your child to be able to handle technology. At some point, they’re gonna have to manage this themselves,” Dr. Kanojia advised.
Explore Dr. K’s mental health community for the internet generation at healthygamer.gg