DEAR EMILY,
I have this big dilemma. I accidently discovered my boyfriend’s e-mail recently, and I was shocked to find it full of pictures of guys offering nasty services. Is he a homosexual? I tried asking him about it, but he denied it.
We love each other, and we are actually planning our wedding next year. But when I discovered his secret life, I got confused. I really don’t know what to do.
TRICIA
There is a saying, “If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and looks like a duck—it must be a duck!” Your situation with your boyfriend really looks questionable, considering you only mentioned seeing male photos. Were these photographs even mixed with heterosexual images? It would have been democratic of him if they were.
Clearly, marriage should not even be discussed or put on the table at this point. What’s the rush? Is there a fire somewhere?
You’re at the crossroads of your life, and these worrisome issues should be at the forefront of your decision-making and not swept under the rug, so to speak, to be sorted out later. That might be much too late.
If he is truly homosexual and is namby-pamby and just wants to save face in front of his friends and family, are you going to be the sacrificial lamb at the altar of his hypocrisy?
There are, of course, homosexuals who have gotten themselves wives and eventually, children. But some of these wives are deeply aware of the true nature of their husbands.
It’s their choice, and they’re all right with that. Are you willing to face that possibility?
When you said you “both” love each other, how positive are you that it’s even a two-way street?
An Italian sage wrote it so wonderfully: “I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore me for telling you lies.”
You’d better man-up to this dilemma and resolve it, once and for all. There’s nothing so infinitely irritating and disturbing than having this little itty-bitty nagging thought throbbing in your brain!
Let ducks be ducks!
E-mail emarcelo@inquirer.com.ph or emarcelo629@gmail.com, subject: Lifestyle.