Heartache and healing in Calgary

 

Elaine Suva with her latehusband Cesar
Elaine Suva with her late husband Cesar

 

Elaine Suva was reluctant to leave the Philippines. She wasn’t in search of a better life; she didn’t feel the need for change; she had a teaching career at De La Salle University, where she finished her literature course and graduate studies in Industrial and Organizational Psychology. Plus, she didn’t have any family in Canada.

But love and her Filipino Canadian husband Cesar’s wish to return to Canada in pursuit of further education had her relocating to Calgary, followed by a brief move to Canberra in Australia when Cesar was offered a scholarship to pursue a Ph.D there, and then back again to Calgary to fulfill her residency requirement to become a Canadian citizen. She has lived there since 2008.

Elaine initially found life in her new home far from exciting. Cesar often encouraged her to join him in winter sports in an effort to help her enjoy the outdoors more, but she tended to lose interest quickly if she didn’t see immediate improvement. It took her a few years to adjust to life in Calgary, and making friends outside of her work as an English as Second Language (ESL) teacher proved to be a challenge, perhaps due to the frigid temperature, with the cold season lasting up to eight months.

According to Elaine, snow begins to fall in October and continues until April or even extending into May. Trees don’t grow leaves until mid-May; temperatures can drop to as low as -35 degrees Celsius from December to February. “How does one get used to such cold?”

While Elaine said she doesn’t really miss home in the Philippines too much, except for her family and friends, she sometimes find herself questioning her life choices during Calgary’s harsh winters.

But Elaine doesn’t really miss the heat of the tropics, either. During her visit last month, she was able to experience once again the things she did miss: the beaches, seeing leaves on trees throughout the year and the festive shopping malls with their wide varieties of coffee shops and dining spots, as opposed to just a simple food court.

“Since Calgary wasn’t really the city I would have chosen, I struggled to find things to like about it, and the thing I looked forward to the most was our trips abroad. This later changed when I got into photography as I began to appreciate Calgary’s beauty,” she said.

Calgary, with its natural beauty and pretty skyline with modern buildings, nice architecture and bridges, provides breathtaking subjects for Suva’s landscape photography as well as scenic backgrounds for portraiture.

 

Natural beauty

Calgary is a quiet and safe city in Alberta, just an hour’s drive from the stunning Rocky Mountains. According to her, the city is abundant in natural beauty, with two pristine rivers flowing through it, providing lots of scenic spots great for portrait photography work with clients and landscape photography. The city center has a pretty skyline with modern buildings, nice architecture and bridges.

When the 45-year-old lost her job in August 2020 after the school she had been with for 10 years closed permanently, she used the time to take advanced online courses in photography, leading her to start a portrait photography business months later while she was in a program from Alberta that helped people who wanted to start their own businesses.

However, she realized that she didn’t want to be a photographer full time. While she enjoys the creative part of it, she didn’t particularly like the business side, which entailed advertising and posting regularly on social media. She started teaching again a year later and now does portrait photography as a side job on weekends, specializing in scenic portraits, dance, fashion and personal branding.

“I enjoy capturing the unique character of each person I photograph,” Elaine said, adding that she likes taking photos that tell a story. “I’m also into fashion and dance photography. Sometimes, I collaborate with professional models to submit to fashion magazines and have had some of my work published.”

Last year, however, Elaine lost her motivation for doing photography as a hobby after Cesar’s sudden passing. “To help myself heal, I started studying happiness through online courses like ‘The Science of Happiness,’ ‘Managing Happiness’ and ‘The Science of Well-Being.’ I spent a lot of time reading about happiness and practicing meditation and mindfulness.”

The happiness courses have definitely helped, according to her. “After my husband died, I thought I’d never be happy again for the rest of my life. However, after completing the courses, I gained a renewed sense of hope and purpose. I understood that inner peace and happiness are not only determined by the occurrence of positive events in one’s life. This newfound sense of hope prevented me from slipping into long-term depression. Gradually, I started doing the things that I liked to do and eventually I found the motivation to do photography again as a hobby, not just for clients.”

Some of Suva’s works have been featured in magazines

What were the challenges you faced when you moved to another country?

Even though I had already been teaching for six years in the Philippines, my experience did not count because I had no Canadian experience or education. I had to complete a certificate course that the education system would recognize. Consequently, when I was hired as a teacher, I was compensated at a rate equivalent to that of a recent graduate.

What’s a day in your life usually like?

During the week, I take the train to where I work, which is just a few stops away from where I live. I also try to spend an hour each day walking as a form of exercise. My routine after work involves cooking, class preparations or grading student work and editing photos if I have time. Before retiring for the night, I unwind by reading or listening to podcasts, and meditating.

What do you usually do on weekends? How do you relax?

I like to spend my weekends discovering new cafés or restaurants with friends or hosting tea parties and get-togethers at my house. I also love taking leisurely strolls along the riverside when it’s warm, as well as watching movies, dancing and singing karaoke occasionally. Additionally, I relax by immersing myself in a good book and talking to friends about it, or other interesting subjects.

How are things there now?

Life is pretty much back to normal. There are no more restrictions, and few people wear masks now. However, there are still lingering effects in the hospitality sector such as hotels and restaurants being short-staffed because workers left these jobs after getting fed up with repeated closures and reopenings.

How has living abroad changed you?

Living abroad has broadened my perspectives and made me appreciate diversity. This experience has also developed my resilience and adaptability as it forced me out of my comfort zone to adjust to new environments. I also became more self-aware and culturally sensitive. Moreover, I recognized the importance of expanding my social circle, particularly in the absence of family, especially following my husband’s passing, to create a sense of community and be happy.

Suva specializes in scenic portraits, dance, fashion and personal branding. —ELAINE SUVA/CONTRIBUTED PHOTOS

What do you like about living abroad?

Living abroad provides an opportunity to explore new places, allowing you to immerse yourself fully in the local culture and lifestyle, leading to a broader understanding of that country. For example, even though my stay in Australia was brief, I got the chance to learn about it beyond what a tourist would typically experience. Traveling to other continents is also significantly more accessible than if I were living in the Philippines.

What don’t you like about living abroad?

One thing I don’t like about living abroad is that I’m unable to see my family as frequently as I would like. With each I visit, I notice that my parents have become older and my nieces and nephews have grown up. The sad reality is that I’m not actively part of my family’s and friends’ lives, and I’ve missed some of their most significant moments.

Is there a Filipino community where you are?

Yes. The largest group of immigrants in Calgary comes from the Philippines.

What are your favorite ways to stay in touch with your loved ones in the Philippines?

I usually use Facebook Messenger and Instagram to keep in touch with my family and friends.

What would you like to tell other Filipinos living abroad?

I wish that Filipinos living overseas would teach their children how to speak the Filipino language. It’s rather sad when young people raised abroad can’t speak it at all. If you talk to your spouse in Filipino, why not teach it to your kids? After all, numerous studies prove that being bilingual has many cognitive benefits.

On a different note, for recent immigrants in Canada, it could be beneficial to have your qualifications assessed right away and research the requirements to find out what you need to work in your profession. It might be tempting to just do any job as long as you’re earning money and not further your education because it takes time and money. However, it might be worth it to have a satisfying career, and it may not take as long as you think, depending on your field.

 

 

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