A look at how motherhood is influenced by one’s own upbringing
There’s no doubt that a mom’s love is lifelong. Our ways of being are so deeply influenced by the kind of experience we have growing up and the values that were instilled in us. What we impart to our children is rooted in what we remember from our own childhoods.
This Mother’s Day, we take a look at the lasting impact our mothers have on our lives. We asked 8 women: “What is the most valuable thing you’ve learned from your mom, and how do you apply it to how you mother your kids today?” Here’s what they said:
READ: Motherhood & me: On balancing self-care with responsible parenting
Rocio Olbes
The most valuable lesson I learned from my mother is that you cannot love enough. There is no such thing as giving your children too much love and support.
Mari Jasmine
The most valuable thing I’ve learned from her is that it is a gift to give someone your undivided attention. I hope to be as present with my daughter, without distractions, and to make her feel seen.
Stephanie Zubiri
“When in doubt, do!” My mother always told me this and I used to think it was so reckless, but life is not about staying in your comfort zone. It’s a reminder to explore, to feel, and to live. Max and Seb are eight and 10, and I try to apply this to them by encouraging them to face their fears and live with courage. Seb recently tried out for Children’s Musical Theatre and eventually got the lead. Max bravely ran for student council as a new student and won.
I’m so proud of these two and how they are not afraid of failure and how they just keep embracing growth and progress. The very best way I teach them this is through travel. We take them to places without traditional kids’ itineraries and make them try new food and new experiences and the rule is they have to have 100% zero screen time during the whole trip. It’s amazing how they really learn to live every moment to its fullest!
Ruffa Guttierez
My headstrong and determined mother of six taught me many invaluable life lessons. She raised me to be resilient and how to persevere during difficult times. When you fail, get back up and try again. She also taught me the power of prayer and seeking God for comfort. I instill the same values in raising Lorin and Venice. I remind them to pray everyday, count their blessings and to always be grateful. They were raised by strong women so I think they will be just fine.
Erica Concepcion Reyes
A valuable lesson I learned from my mother is the importance of empathy, active listening, and kindness—to understand and validate others’ feelings, even if I may have a different point of view. As a mother of three kids, I try my best to focus on truly listening to my children and acknowledging their feelings. I show empathy and patience, and create a supportive and positive environment for them so that I can help them grow into well-rounded and emotionally intelligent individuals.
Cheska Garcia Kramer
The greatest lesson from my mom? The priceless gift of time. No material things compare to the value of quality time with our children. Now that I’m a parent, I ensure my kids always feel my presence. A strong bond is built on investing time in our loved ones.
Audrey Pastelero
The most valuable thing I learned from my mom, which I apply to how I mother my kids, is to always show up—in all the senses of the phrase. It gave me a lot of security knowing I had someone to support me no matter what. This meant that no matter what happened, I had a person in my corner cheering me on, standing up for me, or just being there. I was raised with respect and gentleness through any situation. Now, as a mom, I realize how much time and patience I was afforded. I can only pray that I can raise my kids with the same amount of grace and kindness.
Rene Rosa Rodrigo
My mother taught me something invaluable: never indulge in sulking. As a single parent raising seven kids, she made it clear that sulking only distances you from the present moment and those around you. I teach my kids the same lesson, making sure they know how important it is to stay present and connected, and to realize they have control over their attitude towards life.