I am not a breastfeeding advocate
Upon the birth of my first child, I was lucky enough to have a sufficient supply of milk. The minute the doctor handed me Ben, he latched and fed. It was the perfect scenario.
But as it went on, I remember being so tired. I felt like crying whenever the nurse would hand me Ben (he needed to be fed every two hours). My C-section was hurting, I was uncomfortable, sleep deprived, and to be perfectly blunt—I just felt like a cow.
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At some point, I dreaded the feeding process. I knew I had to think of a solution. So just a week after direct feeding, I bought a breast pump. Using it made me feel like a person again. I was able to sleep longer and enjoy Ben more—not to mention, I also managed to join my friends for lunch without having to rush home or carrying the guilt that I was a careless mother leaving a hungry baby.
But I’m just lucky I had milk without even trying. So when I hear people pushing new moms to breastfeed, I feel this urge to protect them from what some people think a good mom should be. Truthfully, it has nothing to do with breastfeeding. It’s a choice. If you want to do it, go. If you don’t, you’re not harming your child.
The statement “breast milk is best for babies up to two years” is what I find damaging to parents. We always want to do what’s best for a child, but even fathers don’t know how taxing it can be both physically and psychologically for a mother. I’m also aware of some fathers who force their wives to continue against their will, or even worse, guilt the moms for their lack of milk—which isn’t even their choice. The truth is, the best moms are the ones in tune with what they are feeling inside and who take care of themselves. If a mother has no milk, it’s okay. In fact, I will also add that if the mom wants to stop the production of breast milk, it’s also their right to do so. They need to know they’re not depriving their baby of good health.
First of all, I know a lot of people who are perfectly capable individuals and were not breastfed. Second, if any mother (in my case) has milk but finds feeding draining, it’s ok to stop. I think shifting to the pump even shielded me against worsening postpartum depression. I even took a pill to stop my milk because I was tired of using the pump and was ready to shift to formula. Third, I realized breastfeeding is a luxury. A lot of mothers need to work. Not everyone can bring their babies everywhere they go. Plus, we don’t even always have the proper facilities to accommodate mothers who would like to pump or breastfeed.
What I am really trying to rally for is to respect one’s choice or lack thereof. All mothers want is the best for their kids. It is not correct for others to add to the “mom guilt” we already unknowingly burden ourselves with. Be kind and respect each other’s journey. Our mental health is important. A good mother is a happy one after all.
Story originally from Ria Recommends