Pop psychology has resulted in many therapy-based terms becoming part of everyday conversations, so it’s important to make sure you mean exactly what you say
I recently came across a TikTok that said, “A new level of maturity is psychoanalyzing people instead of judging or gossiping.” That made me laugh because that is so real! These days, conversations with friends aren’t just about he-said-she-said; what makes spilling the tea even more fun is trying to analyze why they said what they said or did what they did. (And if we add astrology to the mix? Even better!)
But this habit of psychoanalyzing people, or what some may call pop psychology or the prevalence of therapy-speak has been observed in recent years, attributed also to the increased awareness and acceptance of seeking psychological help (aka therapy) for mental and psychological disorders.
Although stigma still exists, there is also now a louder conversation in support of mental health. Many attribute the prevalence of therapy-speak to this and find that it helps in normalizing and destigmatizing matters of mental health.
With this mainstreaming of therapy-speak, it might be more common to hear conversations like, “I think he’s a narcissist,” “my boss just gaslighted me,” “that show should’ve come with a trigger warning,” or even “I’m just setting boundaries.” But with these words now becoming part of common and everyday speech, it’s tricky to know if people say exactly what they think they mean with these words. The other, more challenging side of this popularization of psychology terms is the possibility of inaccurate use. This may lead to trivialization of the issues or disorders, or even misdiagnosing yourself.
The Center for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Mindfulness suggests it is best to “educate ourselves so that we know what these terms mean when we use them and use them thoughtfully and considerately.” This means understanding how our use of these terms may affect others, especially if we know (or don’t know!) if they experience or have these disorders themselves. And ultimately, it’s always best to seek professional help.
To get a better, basic grasp of mental health terminology, here’s a simple guide to some of the most prevalent terms we see on social media.
ADHD (attention deficit hyper-activity disorder)
- According to MentalHealthLiteracy.org, it is a “mental disorder associated with a delay in how the brain matures and how it processes information. People with ADHD usually have varying degrees of difficulty paying attention, being impulsive, and being overactive which causes problems at home, in school (or work in adults), and in social situations”
- previously called ADD (attention deficit disorder)
Anti-social
- Anti-social personality disorder
- In casual conversation, “anti-social” is often used to refer to the feeling of being unsociable or unfriendly, or not wanting to be in the company of others. However, it is formally defined as people who have “a long pattern of violating the rights of others. Other common terms for anti-social personality disorder are sociopath or psychopath. People with this personality disorder will often harm others without feeling remorse or guilt.”
Anxiety
- “a type of body signal, or group of sensations that are generally unpleasant. A person with anxiety experiences a variety of physical sensations that are linked with thoughts that make them feel apprehensive or fearful. A person with anxiety will often also think that bad things may happen even when they are not likely to happen.”
- There are various types of anxiety disorders, such as social anxiety disorder, separation anxiety disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder
Attachment style
- If you’ve ever lingered on the side of TikTok or Instagram Reels about relationships, you’ve likely encountered various videos on attachment styles or attachment theory, such as anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, and secure attachment.
- According to the American Psychological Association (APA) Dictionary of Psychology, attachment style refers to the “characteristic way people relate to others in the context of intimate relationships, which is heavily influenced by self-worth and interpersonal trust”
Bipolar disorder
- A mood disorder “characterized by episodes in which the person’s mood and activity levels are significantly disturbed,” according to a definition by the World Health Organization. It is characterized by occasions of mania (aka elevated mood, increased energy and activity) and depression (low mood, decreased energy and activity)
Boundaries
- According to the Berkeley Well-Being Institute, boundaries generally refer to the standards “by which we want people to treat us.” Boundaries differ depending on the person and the circumstances, and may change. There are also various types of boundaries, such as physical boundaries (can you hug someone or touch them, how close can you physically be), behavioral boundaries (type of language to use or topics to discuss, or even whether it’s necessary to use or turn off your phone), and mental or emotional (triggering topics, gaslighting, and manipulation)
Coping mechanism
- We all have various coping mechanisms for different things. Some may say their coping mechanism for stress is shopping, aka retail therapy (#relate. But I can’t say for sure how psychologically sound this is. Financially, it is not. LOL)
- The APA Dictionary of Psychology defines it as “any conscious or nonconscious adjustment or adaptation that decreases tension and anxiety in a stressful experience or situation. Modifying maladaptive coping mechanisms is often the focus of psychological interventions” (“maladaptive coping mechanisms” aka strategies that relieve the stress or tension but do not address the root cause! For example… drinking. Which may lead to substance addiction or abuse.)
Delusion
- We’ve all been delulu at some point, but it becomes a problem when this idea or state is extreme.
- According to the APA Dictionary of Psychology, it is “an often highly personal idea or belief system, not endorsed by one’s culture or subculture, that is maintained with conviction in spite of irrationality or evidence to the contrary”
Depression
- A commonly used term, often to mean a state of sadness or low mood. With greater understanding and recognition of the existence of depressive disorders, it’s important to be careful against using the term lightly.
- According to mentalhealthliteracy.org, “the most common type of depression as a mental disorder is major depressive disorder (MDD). A person with MDD feels very low/sad/depressed or irritable and also experiences lack of interest, less pleasure, hopelessness, fatigue, sleep problems, loss of appetite, suicidal thoughts.”
Dissociation
- Commonly used to refer to a state of being disconnected from yourself or your environment. Sometimes “zoning out” is interchanged with “dissociating,” though zoning out is a milder form.
- According to the APA Dictionary of Association, dissociation is “a defense mechanism in which conflicting impulses are kept apart or threatening ideas and feelings are separated from the rest of the psyche”
Gaslighting
- A form of manipulation where a person is led to doubt “their perceptions, experiences, or understanding of events.” Usually, when we say we’re being gaslighted, we mean that our experiences are not only being invalidated, we’re also being led to believe that what we’re feeling or experiencing is wrong.
Inner child
- “Healing my inner child,” I say as I buy more anik-aniks… The term is one of the many words that have come out of therapy spaces and out into common parlance. It comes from the understanding that our memories and experiences from childhood impact our behavior. Understanding and healing the inner child is often part of the process of self-love and growth.
Narcissism
- We all know someone who always makes everything about themselves. (And they’re not necessarily Leos.) In psychology, someone narcissistic has an “unrealistic and highly inflated self-worth.” As a personality disorder, this manifests as a “long-standing pattern of grandiose self-importance and an exaggerated sense of talent and achievements; fantasies of unlimited sex, power, brilliance, or beauty; an exhibitionistic need for attention and admiration; either cool indifference or feelings of rage, humiliation, or emptiness as a response to criticism, indifference, or defeat; and various interpersonal disturbances, such as a feeling entitled to special favors, taking advantage of others, and inability to empathize with the feelings of others.”
OCD
- For a while, obsessive-compulsive disorder or OCD or “being OC” (as we Filipinos often put it) has been synonymous with being meticulous and being neat freaks.
- OCD, according to APA, is “characterized by recurrent intrusive thoughts (obsessions) that prompt the performance of neutralizing rituals (compulsions). Typical obsessions involve themes of contamination, dirt, or illness (fearing that one will contract or transmit a disease) and doubts about the performance of certain actions (e.g., an excessive preoccupation that one has neglected to turn off a home appliance). Common compulsive behaviors include repetitive cleaning or washing, checking, ordering, repeating, and hoarding.”
Panic attack
- Panic attacks are often connected with anxiety disorders. It refers to the “sudden onset of intense apprehension and fearfulness in the absence of actual danger, accompanied by the presence of such physical symptoms as heart palpitations, difficulty breathing, chest pain or discomfort, choking or smothering sensations, sweating, and dizziness. The attack occurs in a discrete period of time and often involves fears of going crazy, losing control, or dying.”
Projection
- We’ve likely all come across the concept that the way someone treats us speaks less about who we are as a person, and more about them. The idea behind this is projection. This refers to the “process by which one attributes one’s own individual positive or negative characteristics, affects, and impulses to another person or group. This is often a defense mechanism in which unpleasant or unacceptable impulses, stressors, ideas, affects, or responsibilities are attributed to others,” according to APA.
Separation anxiety
- Another commonly used term, separation anxiety—or often, “sepanx”—is that feeling of fear and sadness about being away from people you’re attached to, close to, or spent a lot of time with. Though the term originally refers to the “apprehension experienced by a young child when away (or facing the prospect of being away) from the person or people to whom they are attached (particularly parents),” in common parlance, this can also apply to close friends and even co-workers or schoolmates.
Social anxiety
- It’s one thing to be shy or introverted and a whole other thing to have social anxiety. Social anxiety, according to APA, is the “fear or social situations in which embarrassment may occur (e.g., making conversation, meeting strangers, dating) or there is a risk of being negatively evaluated by others (e.g., seen as stupid, weak, or anxious).”
Toxic
- Another commonly used description for people we dislike. When we call someone toxic, we often mean that they have qualities or behaviors we consider bad or hurtful. Usually, this means someone who is dishonest or manipulative. Yes, your narcissists and gaslighters fall under this, too.
Trauma
- This refers to “any disturbing experience that results in significant fear, helplessness, dissociation, confusion, or other disruptive feelings intense enough to have a long-lasting negative effect on a person’s attitudes, behavior, and other aspects of functioning”
- There are many situations or events that can cause trauma, such as war, rape and sexual abuse, accidents, and even natural disasters. Social conditions and systems can also cause trauma, such as racism, discrimination, and sexism.
Trigger
- There’s also been a lot of contention with using this term, or the phrase “I’m triggered.” Usually triggers refer to words, instances, or basically any form of stimuli that could elicit a reaction or a response. Being exposed to triggers could make memories of a past experience (e.g. trauma) resurface, and could be disturbing or disruptive for others.
- In media, it is important to be aware of potential triggers to not cause undue discomfort or distress for audiences. (Hence trigger warnings!)
If you feel like you relate to any or many of these terms (or many of these psychoanalysis videos on your feed), the best option is always to seek professional advice. Silakbo PH, a mental health awareness advocacy group, has a comprehensive list of resources and hotlines here.
But if you’re not sure what to ask yet, or maybe just want to have an idea of whether you truly do show signs of a disorder or not, there are various tests online for a preliminary assessment. Just remember that these are merely generalized tools, and not a formal diagnosis.