To gift or not to gift

To gift or not to gift
LLUSTRATION BY RUTH MACAPAGAL

 

To gift or not to gift.

Gifts can be a tangible way to show family and loved ones how much you care. For colleagues and friends, sharing gifts can deepen bonds and create lasting memories. It’s also a way to express our appreciation, fostering a sense of gratitude and generosity.

For those whose love language is giving gifts and meaningful surprises, the joy it brings the receiver also brings happiness to the giver. The anticipation and surprise by themselves bring delight.

Buying gifts also supports businesses and contributes to the economy.

But some might choose to skip the gift-giving this year, for one reason or another. First, there’s the financial constraint. Economic hardships or unexpected expenses can make it difficult to afford gifts for everyone on your list.

Despite all the gift guides, the pressure to find the perfect gift for everyone can still be overwhelming and stressful. It becomes a chore, compounded by the idea of going through the metro’s holiday gridlock just to go to the shops.

And then, there’s the environmental concerns. For this, I highly recommend watching the Netflix documentary “Buy Now! The Shopping Conspiracy,” a sort of mea culpa from past purveyors of consumerism—former executives of global giants like Amazon, Adidas, Apple and Unilever.

Excessive consumerism and the waste associated with gift-giving, we all know, can contribute to environmental problems. We are all guilty of adding to the mountains of trash on landfills.

More mindful

Even as I’ve become a lot more mindful of how I shop, I still felt ashamed watching the film, just thinking of how many clothes and shoes I own that are barely worn or unworn, some still with their hang tags on, especially since we work mostly at home now.

At a recent Thanksgiving lunch, we were asked what we were grateful for and what material thing we wanted for Christmas. I was stumped for an answer to the latter: I couldn’t think of anything I actually wanted. It also somehow felt wrong to want more things.

Don’t get me wrong—I still get excited when I see something I like, but I no longer give in to the impulse of buying it now. It’s also nice to receive gifts—until they become a burden that you have to make room for in your life.

I also still get thrilled when I see something I know someone would love, and for those times it’s harder to resist the urge to buy it for them. However, that becomes problematic when we’re unknowingly creating an inconvenience to someone who might be trying to declutter or adopt a minimalist lifestyle.

Are we actually being green by giving gifts people don’t really need, even if those gifts are supposedly “green”? Who actually needs another mug, even one made of wood, or a bamboo reed drinking straw, for crying out loud? And you can fight me on this, but those reusable canvas bags have become like plastic—there’s just way too many. Don’t even get me started on the packaging these things come in.

Still, I think there can be a compromise. I, for one, won’t be the Grinch in my favorite time of year. We can always find a balance. If you’re torn between these two perspectives, consider a compromise.

Meaningful connections

Instead of giving material possessions, why not do shared experiences to create more meaningful connections? Say, host a dinner and cook for loved ones. Maybe buy tickets to watch a Christmas show together.

Limit your gift list. Focus on giving gifts to your closest and dearest. Find out what they really need and be more intentional with the way you gift. Don’t give just for the sake of giving. Also, establish a realistic budget to avoid overspending.

Some do DIY gifts, since they’re more personal and meaningful, but even this can be tricky. Make sure it’s something that the receiver will appreciate or find useful.

This last one has become trendy, and I quite support it: Donate to a cause you care about in lieu of gifts. Or, volunteer your time. Many charitable institutions can always use the help, at Christmas and at any time of the year.

Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to give gifts is a personal one. By weighing the pros and cons and finding a balance that works for you, you can enjoy the holiday season without unnecessary stress or guilt.

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