10 steps for the clueless bride to kickstart your wedding planning

Just got engaged and don’t know how to start planning the big day? Simply follow these 10 tips to make your wedding planning as seamless as possible

If you’re reading this article, then it’s likely that you’ve just gotten engaged—congratulations! A wedding is one of the biggest events you and your partner will be celebrating in your lifetime, and planning one is both exciting and admittedly overwhelming. As a newly engaged bride-to-be myself, I had no idea where to even begin a few months back, but luckily, with the help of good friends who’ve gotten hitched in the past, I got to pull off the (very, very tough) initial stages of planning a big wedding.

If you were as clueless as I was at the start, then I’ve got you. Here are essential tips and steps to kick the planning process off—from setting your budget and making your guest list to booking your major suppliers. 

1. Communicate with your partner about each of your wedding expectations and non-negotiables

First things first, sit down with your partner and discuss your overall wedding vision—its scale, the theme, the people involved, and the overall atmosphere. Talk about your essentials: What are elements and suppliers you can’t compromise on, be it the venue, your photographer, or certain traditions? It’s important to get these matters out of the way in the beginning so you can avoid potential disagreements during the planning phase and find your common ground as a couple. 

2. Craft a budget

You’re now ready to outline your budget. Consider how much you and your partner have saved up, and how much the both of you are willing to spend for your special event. Are you going big or going intimate? Will your respective families be able to help out with the wedding expenses?

Are you going big or going intimate? Will your respective families be able to help out with the wedding expenses?
Are you going big or going intimate? Will your respective families be able to help out with the wedding expenses? | Illustration by Mylene Cañeso/Unsplash+

Prop open your list of non-negotiables and note down a specific budget for each supplier. Once you’ve got a rough budget in mind, open a joint account with your partner (if you don’t already have one) so you can save some more funds for the event. 

3. Make a guest list

You’ve probably decided by now if you’ll be doing a large-scale or intimate wedding. List down the names of the people you want at your wedding via a shared Google sheet that you and your partner can edit—have an equal amount of guests for each of you. For example, if your total number of guests amounts to 100, have 50 slots for the bride’s side and 50 for the groom’s.

If your parents are covering a big amount of the expenses, ask them who they’d like to invite, or allot a certain number of guests they can bring along.

If you’re a type A bride who’s big on organization and planning, it should be perfectly fine to put together a small event on your own, with the help of your partner. However, if you’ll be inviting more than 100 people to your wedding, you may want to consider a wedding coordinator

4. Consider a wedding coordinator for large weddings

If you’re a type A bride who’s big on organization and planning, it should be perfectly fine to put together a small event on your own, with the help of your partner. However, if you’ll be inviting more than 100 people to your wedding, you may want to consider a wedding coordinator. Big events are really no joke, especially if you’ve got no experience in hosting them. It’ll be a lot of people and a lot of suppliers to think about, even tougher if you’ve got a full-time job to balance.

Shop around for coordinators to ensure you’ve got all the help you need. Ask for referrals from friends who have gotten married, or look up reviews online. Don’t be afraid to set up meetings before hiring anyone—it’s important that you and your coordinator get along to guarantee a smooth planning process. 

5. Join wedding Facebook groups

Use all the resources you’ve got (including Facebook groups and your trusted loved ones) to look up reputable suppliers | Photo by Karolina Grabowska/Unsplash+

Facebook groups are a great source of information for a lot of things, and that includes wedding suppliers. While there are a huge number of bridal and wedding groups on the platform, the most popular community for engaged Filipino couples is WaWies, which stands for Weddings at Work. Here, you’ll find honest reviews and suggestions for local suppliers, and community tips on how to handle planning challenges and other wedding-related issues.

Note that it takes a couple of months for membership to be approved since they carefully screen every single applicant (suppliers are not allowed in the group).

6. Do your research and create your planning timeline

Use all the resources you’ve got (including these Facebook groups and your trusted loved ones) to look up reputable suppliers. Then, create a timeline to break down the planning process into smaller tasks. Set deadlines and schedules with your wedding coordinator if you have one, and meet up with the people helping you out. Lastly, we live in the digital age—utilize planning tools like Asana, Trello, or Notion. These will make it easier to organize tasks, your budget, and your guest list. 

The big three major wedding suppliers consist of the following: your venue/s (this includes your church if you’re Catholic), your caterer, and your photographer/videographer

7. Participate in wedding fairs

We all know weddings are not cheap. The best way to get discounts from suppliers is from attending wedding fairs, which happen quite often throughout the year. Apart from discounts, suppliers also provide add-ons and freebies that aren’t previously in their original packages. It’s also a good form of meeting suppliers, understanding standard rates, and establishing rapport. The most popular bridal fairs in Manila include the Getting Married Bridal Fair, Toast Wedding Fair, and The Wedding Library’s Bridal Fair.

8. Book your major suppliers early

The big three major wedding suppliers consist of the following: your venue/s (this includes your church if you’re Catholic), your caterer, and your photographer/videographer | Photo by Kristy Cruz/Unsplash+

The big three major wedding suppliers consist of the following: your venue/s (this includes your church if you’re Catholic), your caterer, and your photographer/videographer. By securing these three major suppliers around nine months to a year before the big day, you’ll have a solid foundation for the rest of your wedding planning process. Tip: Churches are the toughest to book, especially the popular ones around Metro Manila. Some are even booked two years in advance, so don’t hesitate to inquire with your desired church or chapel ASAP.

Have backup plans for various matters that could (I hope not, though!) go wrong during your wedding, whether that’s inclement weather, certain suppliers not showing up, guests backing out at the last minute, and other unwanted stuff

9. Create backup plans

Sometimes, the Virgos in your life make sense (yes, that’s where I got this tip from). Have backup plans for various matters that could (I hope not, though!) go wrong during your wedding, whether that’s inclement weather, certain suppliers not showing up, guests backing out at the last minute, and other unwanted stuff. It’s tough to even consider and think about these things happening in the first place, but your future self will thank you if you’ve prepared for the worst.

10. Don’t stress—ask for help when you need it

Never let stress overshadow the joy of planning your wedding—it’s supposed to be your special day. Delegate tasks and enlist the help of family and friends to share the workload. Communicate with the people around you and don’t bottle negative feelings up. And of course, don’t forget to take breaks. To avoid wedding burnout, schedule time for relaxation and self-care. Your body (and mind) will thank you for it.

Read more...