As if finding a roommate who is not a slob and respects food ownership wasn’t hard enough, we now have to contend with the possibility that the stranger you are about to share a space with may end up eating your brains when the munchies attack. While the chances of encountering a zombie are still slim, the news reports from different parts of the globe of zombie-like behavior are enough to make any person want to be prepared for any sudden zombie-like behavior. Here are tips and tricks to keep you from being undead chow.
Read the bible–the Z-bible
Max Brooks’s “Zombie Survival Guide,” released in 2003, is not your average zombiephile coffee table book. The book explores the reality of a zombie apocalypse and offers survival strategies against the undead—where to hide, how to attack, what weapons to use, and includes hypothetical situations and how to escape each unscathed.
Build an arsenal
Yes, weaponry is very important, but we refuse to list down which weapons exactly lest we be blamed for giving citizens the idea of arming themselves against a hypothetical zombie attack—plus, it’ll cramp your strolling style when the mall security guard’s magic stick encounters your weapon (note: The mall searching wand is ineffectual against a zombie attack). But bear in mind that when it comes to fending off an attack against a rabid zombie who’s lost all sense of logic and reason, the best weapon is a long-range one. Engaging a zombie who wants nothing more than to eat you is like you going into battle with a juicy, life-sized hamburger. Yum.
Dress like an acrobat
Brooks recommends a buzz cut and tight clothing that won’t restrict your movements (so no, you can’t fight zombies in your clubbing skirt), not because you’ll look
like a badass character from “Prometheus” but because lumbering zombies love to grab and hold on—if there’s nothing to grab on to, then you’ll be like the slippery pig that can’t be slaughtered.
Home lock-down
Should you be lucky enough to be safely ensconced at home during a zombie attack, make sure to always have ammo for your weapons, rechargeable lamps, canned goods, batteries, and an adequate supply of water and toilet paper, naturally. If you happen to be outside and you have no weapon available, run to the nearest auto mechanic’s crib (aren’t you glad Manila is populated with them?), grab a crowbar and head for the hills. A crowbar can help you brain a zombie before it gets to yours. Don’t engage a zombie unless absolutely necessary. Running is still best.