What makes people of age behave like little children? Is this what is known as second childhood? Isn’t it interesting that we should end up the way we started?
An elderly person was once described as someone over 65 or 70; a doddering, short-tempered senior citizen, retired, who sits at home all day, doing as he pleases. In my mind, that also describes a spoiled brat. Have we marched back in time into the “terrible twos?” God forbid!
Not too long ago, I worried about what it would be like to hit those numbers. I think we all have similar thoughts. In the middle of the night, when the lights are out and sleep is elusive, phantoms of fear loom larger and more threatening than ever.
The passage of time can, if you let it, erode your self-confidence. I observed my uncles and aunts, older cousins and friends back in the day when youth was on my side, and it crossed my mind that one day I would look like them. Shudder!
I wondered. Will I be all hunched up? When does your skin start looking like crepe paper? Will I waddle when I walk? Will my steps be tentative? What if my memory goes on a holiday?
Inevitable
Some of my friends had nightmares about growing old. I tried not to lose sleep over it. I reminded myself that age was inevitable and worry would not change a thing.
I once heard that age creeps up on you when you are not looking. It is true. I don’t remember getting here, but here I am. And guess what? Despite some aches and pains, it’s not all that bad. Okay, I will concede that it could be better.
I can no longer run a mile. Never could, actually. And yes, my steps are a tad hesitant. I won’t say that I walk slowly. I want to say I take my time. I am afraid to fall. My doctor says that bones get brittle after a certain age. I feel like Humpty Dumpty with no one around to call “all the king’s horses and all the king’s men.”
Subject of jokes
Old age is too often the subject of jokes. I used to think they were funny. There are hit comedy skits about the elderly. The scripts of most are not very kind.
Just watch the characterization of an old person in a sitcom on television. More often than not they are clumsy, goofy and made to behave like big kids. Big-name stars play people in their “second childhood.” Unfortunately, many of us buy into the stereotype and eventually play the role in real life.
I am told that there are toys in the market designed for children under 10 and over 65. A study on second childhood calls this “infantilization,” which aims to keep the elderly “in their place,” whatever that means. This is sad.
Reputations
Whether we deserve it or not, our reputations precede us. We are accused of being a pain in the neck, hardheaded and unreasonable. They say we are cranky, cantankerous and useless; that we sit like bumps on a log all day, doing nothing but munch on snacks and watch television. Hey, wait a minute. Doesn’t that make us look like teenagers?
Some think that old folks can no longer take care of themselves, much less manage their own business affairs. Unless, of course, there’s an illness or some other incapacitating factor, I daresay that we are more than capable, and above all, willing to do it ourselves.
Getting into the 70s does not make us inutile. It is the negative opinion of many that robs us of the pleasure of even trying.
I read somewhere that the elderly go to sleep early, that they no longer enjoy staying up late. I don’t know about that. I come from a show-biz family accustomed to late hours. I go to bed way after midnight. True, I don’t rise with the birds. But I rise.
I don’t agree that all old people need afternoon naps. I know many ladies my age who roll off for mahjongg at 1 p.m. on the dot and I haven’t seen them yawn. So what if we occasionally take a nap after a good meal? Siesta time has been with us since the days of the conquistadores and frailes. Give us a break.
Wonderful or woeful
Depending on where you live, it could be wonderful or woeful to be of age. In many countries, seniors are sent to nursing homes, an institution for “the gray people” to live out the rest of their days in the company of others their age, feeding on bland food and tenaciously clinging to memories.
In the Philippines, the elderly are treated tenderly, thoughtfully, with love and respect. Lolos and lolas are indulged, kept close to home, and are neither asked nor expected to do too much. It is supposed to be payback time.
All that loving is wonderful. But it also invalidates the purpose of the years we have lived. We have a treasure of precious experiences that we have saved for this new generation. Let them not go to waste.
What are people of age all about? What do we need? Materially, we don’t need much. But like Margaret Willour said: Old age needs so little but needs that little so much.
State of the heart
There is no secret to getting older. All you need is to live many years. That’s all it takes. But some people are old at 40. It’s their attitude. Age is not a state of mind. I believe that, more than anything, age is a state of the heart.
For me, this is an age of miracles. At last, I know that my life counts for something. How about you? Each sunrise is full of promise. Even today, all creation holds its breath and waits for us to do something spectacular. Are we up to it?
Once upon a time, we were too young to do many things; to fall in love, travel the world, to be married. Now that we have unraveled most of the mysteries of life, are they telling us we are too old?
I refuse to believe that. Getting older is not a tragedy. It is a privilege.
C.S. Lewis once wrote: “Someday you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again.”
With all my heart, I look forward to that day.