Tina Revilla has no formula for raising her summa cum laude daughter | Lifestyle.INQ

OCTOBER 27, 2022

LEADERSHIP requires self-awareness. It’s a life-long journey of learning your strengths and weaknesses. It extends to social awareness. You look outside and understand the consequences (of your actions) to the extent of the environment. It’s about working with the team and learning to be with others. Being a leader is not a solo journey.”

These wise words are not from a guru. They are insights of a 23-year-old management trainee.

While most youths that age are still contending with the responsibilities of adulthood, Jordana “Jana” Valencia knows what she wants: To lead. “I’m the type of person who wants to be the best I could be.”

At first glance, she resembles her mother, Tina Revilla, when the latter was starting on TV, around Jana’s age. However, many say she has the features of her father, real estate businessman Sergio Valencia.

Summa cum laude

She is enjoying her first job as a marketing executive in L’Oreal’s Professional Salon division. After working with marketing, planning product launches and hairdressers, she is now with the sales team, meeting up with salon owners and stakeholders and expanding the business with new clients.

She enjoys devising concepts and strategies. “I get thirsty for knowledge. I learn about positioning products and how to play your cards in a competitive environment.”

It’s a far cry from her academic course—psychology. Last year, she graduated summa cum laude from the University of the Philippines with an average of 1.08, besting the other summa cum laudes from the other colleges in the state university. She initially enrolled in a pre-med course, but realized that being a doctor was not her calling.

Her study habits were a combination of sessions with friends and org mates, and self-study. She never compared herself with others.

“It’s internal. If I studied hard yet didn’t meet my expectations, I’d move on.” Knowing that she left no stone unturned was enough to make her feel secure.

Poveda learning

She credits Poveda’s system, particularly evaluation through letters instead of numbers. The school did not encourage the pitting of students against each other. “I learned to move on my own benchmark rather than use others as standard.”

A born achiever, Jana recalls when, at six years old, she decided to focus on gymnastics. To commit herself to a sport at such a young age proved to be a turning point. “It’s putting a heap on your plate because it requires a lot responsibilities.”

For seven years, Jana would hie off to the gymnasium after school to train for the school team. After practice, she’d come home to do her homework till 1 a.m. and wake up at 6 a.m. for school.

“I loved it so much. I felt so at home. There is something oddly calming about tumbling on a mattress,” she recalls.

While most students would forgo practice during exam week, Jana was relentless in perfecting her routines. “It taught me how to manage my time,” says Jana, who is modest about her medals as she is about her winning the Josefa Segovia Award at Poveda for being a well-rounded achiever.

Jana joined the Palarong Pambansa as part of the national capital region team and competed in HK and Singapore.

The passion was disrupted in high school when she injured her foot after landing from a tumbling stunt. It required surgery and titanium screws. After the recovery, she said performing with an injury was too painful. She had to quit.

But she researched so assiduously on her injury and subsequent therapy that this episode led to her early plan to go into Medicine.

Community leader

Now that she was hampered in gymnastics, her energies were diverted to student politics. In her senior year, she became vice-president of the student council, managing the high-school and grade-school student affairs.

With her popularity, Jana could have been the president, but she made a pact with her close friend in the early years. Her friend would run for president while she would be the running mate. She had maintained that promise despite some changes in loyalty.

Today, Jana is active in community leadership in Christ the King Ministry, a youth group in Libis, Quezon City. After coming back from the US, she wanted to engage in an activity where she could apply her psychology. “I spoke to friends. They said, ‘Let’s build leaders,’” she says. The vision is to develop people who can make meaningful changes. The programs cover the green campaign and helping poor communities.

It takes a leader to create leaders. Jana says her strength is in motivating people. She tries to understand how the project would be meaningful to them and how it is a reflection of themselves. “I find fulfillment when your team works toward a goal and everyone is on the same track every step of the way.”

Jana is unfazed by conflicts and believes that humility, objectivity and getting a consensus are the best pacifiers. “Never lose your cool,” she says. “If you’re wrong, admit it. You can’t always be right if you’re a leader. Always listen to your teammates. You find that the best ideas come from them. Open communication is important. Everyone should have a say.”

Young as she is, Jana only looks more at the aha moments rather than high points in her life.

One of her realizations is the importance of family and friends, who accept her for what she is. She looks up to her brother Julio who, in turn, keeps an eye on her.

On her parents: “They never pushed me. It helped a lot to give me the space to explore my identity.”

No neuroscience

Over the years, mom Tina has been asked how could she nurture Jana, who naturally exceeds society’s expectations. It doesn’t take neuroscience. “There’s no formula for raising children. I leave it to the Lord,” she says.

Her husband Sergio is a disciplinarian and has insisted on the value of education. He may sometimes be misunderstood by the children, so Tina would explain to her kids his perspective. “I never opposed what my husband said. Otherwise, that’s the best way to confuse children.”

Raising Jana was smooth. Tina recalls that her father, the late actor Armando Goyena, never imposed his ideas on what path their children should take. He let her start a TV career at age 17.

After marriage, her husband allowed her to continue her career. This freedom to be what they want is what she passes on to her children.

Connecting, an important life skill, was done when the Valencias drove their children to and from school every day until they were in college. It was the best time to catch up on each other’s activities before homework and other responsibilities got in the way.

Tina saw that her daughter would be ahead in her studies. Since first grade, she had been receiving a certificate of excellence from the school. Tina would do a mock-up test based on her notes, which were very exhaustive for a child. “Jana treated it like a game. After the exam, she’d say, ‘Your test was even harder.’”

Tina adds that she’s blessed with children who are not rebellious and who accept what the parents say. This is the result of good communication skills. The secret: “Explain to them first, then they tell you what they feel.”

They’ve been taught to develop critical thinking. “We talk and analyze why they should do things that way. Eventually they make their decisions,” says Tina. “I’m just doing what most parents do. With Jana, she’s just gifted.”

In child psychology, there’s another life skill called “self-directed engaged learning,” where the children are guided in planning their activities and setting time for study. When Jana took up gymnastics, Tina would always pick her up from school and attend her practice. Between routines, Jana would pore over her books. After practice at 8 p.m., Jana would come home and study till 1 a.m. Striving for perfection, Jana would not forgo her practice even during exam week.

Gymnastics Mom

“I became a gymnastics mom,” says Tina, who was steeped in the culture and jargon of the sport. Every time Jana competed, both the Revillas and Valencias would root for Jana while Tina stepped out of the stadium nervously praying the rosary. She’d be relieved when her daughter finished the balance beam act.

Today, Tina attributes Jana’s discipline and focus to her gymnastics training.

“Jana learned how to make a commitment and stick to it,” says Tina. “If you say yes, you give it your all.”

Last year, Jana surprised her parents when she was accepted in a summer business program at New York University. Despite her independent-mindedness, she still had to turn to her mother for glitches in her visa application.

“We’re friends,” says Tina. “I’m her mom, no matter what. There is that respect.”

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