Halloween may remind you of things we feared when we were children. Handling our fears was manageable back then. We could watch a movie about Sadako, get nightmares for a few days, but after a week or so, we would have shaken the fear off and are ready for another movie.
We’ve come a long way since then. Instead of fearing ghosts or monsters, our fears now have a solid dose of life. What do we fear, and how do we address them?
The fear of not being loved
The fear of not being loved can involve relationships fading away. “I’m a very people-oriented person, and I’ve always been surrounded with people who love me and care for me. My fear is having the people I love no longer loving me, finding myself insignificant. It scares me that they might not value me as much as I do them,” shares Penny Phone Naing, a fourth-year BS Psychology student from DLSU.
Then there’s the separation that’s not our choice. Angel de la Flor, who studies BA Consular and Diplomatic Affairs in Benilde, recounts her experience. “There was a time when several of my cousins died, one after another. I wasn’t really close to those specific cousins, but the fact that I lost them so easily made me afraid.”
Realizing the fragility of life, Angel took action: “Today, when I see my other cousins, I really show my love and hug them for a long time. It could be the last time I could see them.”
The fear of the unknown
People fear death, but the fear of how one dies can also be horrific. “I’m assured of where I’m going when I die, but what I really fear is how I’m going to die. I’m really scared of drowning or being burned. I’m afraid of a slow and painful death. A pain beyond me, the unbearable and unknown pain. I’d rather die in an instant,” shares Kara de Leos, who studies Advertising in De La Salle University.
Kara shares her resolution. “I can’t be promised smooth sailing in life; there are really bumps on the road. I just remember what Paul says in his letter to the Romans: ‘I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.’ You’ll never appreciate the glory that will be revealed in the afterlife if you don’t go through bad experiences. It’s just like graduation; you wouldn’t appreciate it if you didn’t work hard for it.”
The fear of not living up to one’s full potential
Conchita Lim, a senior Architecture student from UST, shares: “One of my biggest fears is not doing the things I could do because I was afraid. It’s putting my fears first instead of trusting God and believing that He will guide me. My fears involve having more ‘what ifs’ in life and letting my fear get the best of me.”
Angel tells of a life-changing experience. “My professor told us an average person would only use 20 percent of his ability in his lifetime, and it’s up to us if we are going to utilize our full potential.” After that, she decided to live her life to the fullest. “I want to maximize what I can really do. It doesn’t make sense to waste my life. I want to make every moment count, because we only have one life to live.”
The fear of making the wrong decisions
After interviewing and shooting for this article, I watched a play by Mario O’ Hara titled “Stageshow.” The protagonist made many choices that ultimately cost him the fullness of his life. He lost the people he loved, he lost his livelihood, he lost his full potential. It came to the point that he wanted to commit suicide. The closing song of the play said, “I wanna live life then die,” an antithesis to the life that the protagonist lived.
Marielle Dy, who studies Doctor of Medicine in the University of the East, Ramon Magsaysay Memorial Medical Center, says: “My biggest fear is to make the wrong decisions in life. And every single day I conquer my fear by staying focused on reaching my dreams, keeping myself strong and living closer to God and my family.”
My teacher told me that there are things that we cannot control, and that we should not be held accountable for. Things beyond our control may involve losing the people we love, and how we die. My teacher proceeded to say that there are things within our control, and those are the ones we are accountable for. We can decide to love those whom we may lose, and choose to trust that there’s a purpose behind the unknown things happening to us.
We can decide to live our lives to the fullest despite our fears, and do actions consistent with that decision. Conchita says, “I tell myself that these fears are hindering me from being happy, and making me miss a lot of great opportunities. I pray to God that He will guide me in everything I do and help me do my best in any given opportunity. There’s a saying, ‘There is nothing to fear but fear itself.’ So, keep calm, and trust God.”
PHOTOS BY KENNETH CHAN BONA