DEAR EMILY,
This is the problem of my friend, who is a married woman. She fell in love with her marriage counselor, who is always there to comfort her when she complains about her abusive husband, whom she wants to separate from.
The problem is, her husband doesn’t want to let her go. This counselor is offering her a fiancée visa to go to the US. If the husband doesn’t cooperate in her application for annulment, won’t this take longer to arrange? They have been married 27 years . Though her husband is a good provider, he began hitting her some years ago, which made her hate him and lose her love for him. He is also a very sarcastic and sadistic partner.
What should she do to find happiness? Do you suggest that she leave the country? She wants to work in a foreign land. ANNIE
First things first. Your friend has layers of problems she’ll have to solve one at a time. First, if she honestly and sincerely wants to go through the annulment process, she must do extensive research on it. Does she have the time, and most importantly, the money for it?
Second, she cannot compound her problem by falling in love with this marriage counselor. Not only is it unethical for this supposed healer to get involved with her when he knows it’s professional help she needs, without him adding to her confusion! How can he dangle in her face this palliative remedy, which he may not even be able to provide? What a jerk!
And promising her a “fiancee’s visa” may mean jumping from the frying pan into the fire, when he knows the stairs leading out of her troubled marriage have not even been built yet!
Third, happiness is never served on a silver platter. It comes from inside the soul and leads to a peaceful state of mind. No outside factor can give her peace if she doesn’t empty her mind of the clutter within.
It’s also wise to solve the problems besetting her here, before she even thinks of leaving for abroad. If she doesn’t, chances are she’ll be carrying that load wherever she goes.
E-mail emarcelo@inquirer.com.ph or emarcelo629@gmail.com. Visit https://kalikasanvigilante.blogspot.com.