“It’s good to do uncomfortable things. It’s weight training for life.”—Anne Lamott
I woke up unusually early the other day, my heart filled with so much gratitude for all the good that had come into my life lately. I looked forward to the day’s events—a grief workshop in Alabang for the newly bereaved, and a show at the Music Museum later that evening with my daughter.
The morning turned out beautifully; everything was on schedule, and I left my office in time to get to the workshop. We had a good number of attendees, and my co-facilitator and I were looking forward to the sharing that would take place after the video presentation.
The first sign that things were not going as planned was that the air-conditioning in the newly built tower where we were had been shut off that morning for maintenance or recalibration. “Hmmm,” I thought to myself. And there I was in a long knit sweater which I couldn’t just take off, because what I had underneath was a tank top that seemed too casual for the event itself.
Never mind, I sat there thinking, at the very least, the doors were open and there was a slightly cool breeze. Besides, a little sweat never killed anyone.
Next, the video would not play, and the overhead projector would not sync with the laptop, so we could not project it. The audio also began to falter.
I thought to myself at that point that we needed to set a Plan B in motion. Time was running, and the guests were starting to fidget in their seats.
Almost half an hour had passed before we got the video to play from the tiny computer screen. Thank God the audio was excellent. Surprisingly, no one complained.
And then I realized how each and every person in that room had only very recently lost a loved one. Every man and woman seated there that late afternoon had lost father, mother, child, grandchild or spouse within the last 10 months. For all of them, this was going to be the first Christmas without that loved one.
In the grand scheme of things, a busted air-conditioner and a DVD that wouldn’t play were nothing at all compared to the pain we had all suffered at some point in our lives. In that moment I was reminded how being in the presence of the newly bereaved always puts everything in clear perspective, and you are reminded of what truly matters.
Unanswered questions
The sharing afterwards in my circle was very heartfelt and, I’d like to believe, healing for some. When you have only recently lost a loved one, there are always so many unanswered questions. As the members of our group ministered to one another, I felt in my heart that in that moment there was already the beginning of healing.
The evening’s session ended later than I had hoped or expected. Traversing the South Luzon Expressway, already clogged in major traffic, there was no way that I would make it to the show that evening. And so I had to call my daughter to say that we would have to change our plans for the night.
Not coincidentally, I sensed a sigh of relief from my daughter. She told me that she had not been feeling well that day, and was now looking forward to sleeping early.
Later on that evening, at the end of a long day, I thought about how life’s delays are, more often than not, always God’s delays. I’d like to think that God allows them to happen because they are meant to teach you valuable lessons in gratitude and patience. Your spirit expands when you learn to accept the delays when they come, and look expectantly at what is yet to be revealed.
My second lesson that day was how one must always have a Plan B, a plan you can embrace wholeheartedly and leap into with faith. Plans sometimes go awry, expectations aren’t always met, and people can disappoint us for one reason or another. There are many things in life we have no control over. The only thing we can really control is the way we react toward people and the circumstances that we find ourselves in.
There is a quote from Joseph Campbell which I love: “We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” There is always less stress and so much more joy when you believe that whatever has happened to you in the past that brought you to where you are today is never wasted, and that where you are in this moment is exactly where God wants you to be.
Follow the author on Twitter @cathybabao.