The ecstatic Rainbow Mother is the energy of the poet, the dancer, the weaver and the Seer. Artists are intimate with Rainbow Mother, for she is their muse. And she is completely misunderstood in our society, a world that does not support its artists, its writers and thinkers.

 

She wants to dream and inspire people to health and well-being, and routine wilts her… ”

 

I’m more of a Rainbow Mother, just like my mother, and perhaps, her mother.

 

I was reminded of this when my mom and I took an overnight trip to Tagaytay last weekend and spent a full 24 hours bonding and making up for a lot of lost time.

 

We left Manila mid-morning and checked into the very beautiful and serene Discovery Country Suites on the Tagaytay Ridge, in a wooded and still quiet area of what is now bustling Tagaytay City.

 

As soon as we entered our room, mom felt right at home and plopped herself on the daybed, “Wow, ang sarap ng katahimikan dito…” she said right away.

 

And just as she did on the car ride from Manila to Tagaytay, she started to talk nonstop about the current events and people in the world she knew so-well—show business. Naturally, I’ve been sworn to secrecy about the tales she shared that afternoon, but quietly listening to her, I was once more reminded of how animated my mother can be.

 

At sunset, we moved to the lobby and living area where we were to have wine and cheese. Mom is a lover of wine, Merlot being her favorite, and me, a lover of most types of cheese, and fruits which were in abundance that early evening.

 

In the cool and crisp Tagaytay air, she once more began to tell her stories, this time about family and friends out of the business. The cheese and wine selection at the Country Suites was excellent, that it was hard to leave and proceed to dinner, so we decided to drive to town for a bit and visit familiar sights, and check out the other new hotels and dining places.

 

Everywhere we went, mom continued to animate, and people would flock to her and ask for a photograph with her, and naturally she was tickled pink.  “Kamusta po kay Tisoy,” her fans would giggle, Tisoy being her grandson in the last teleserye she appeared on, “One True Love.”

 

I was amazed at how well loved she continues to be, considering her age. After about an hour of this, she asked that we head back because she was starting to feel a bit sleepy from the wine.

 

Lovely meal

 

Back in the hotel, we sat down (“Kakain na naman?!” she said in jest) to a lovely meal at Verbena, which is one of Asia’s Top Five restaurants in the Philippines, according to the Miele guide.

 

Though mom and I have many similarities, fine dining is one activity she does not exactly relish. Married to my father who was a corporate man, she often balked at all the formal socials she had to attend. This time, with me, she had no choice.

 

“Alam mo, ikaw lang ang nagpa-upo sa akin ng ganito katagal…” Dinner took us all of two and a half hours but the meals we had were more than memorable and the dessert, a selection of the finest panna cotta I had ever had, was almost demolished by mom, who likes to indulge herself in great desserts every now and then.

 

That evening in our very restful bedroom (and yes, I fell asleep ahead of my night owl of a mother), I gave thanks for the opportunity to have that time with her. So many of my friends’ parents had been passing away one after the other in the last few months, so I was truly thankful that I still had mine to rediscover at mid-life.

 

I realized then that in the last several years, I had been terribly busy raising a family and being a mother myself, that somewhere along the way I have forgotten I am someone’s daughter, too.

 

The mother-daughter relationship can be tenuous. Wall Street Journal columnist Elizabeth Bernstein, in her “Bonds” column, writes, “The conflict usually starts when the daughter hits adolescence and begins to rebel against authority. A natural break should occur between adolescence and adulthood, where the mother allows her daughter to grow up and make her own decisions. Some mothers, however, have trouble letting go.”

 

She adds, mothers and adult daughters get on each other’s nerves because they are close—some experts might say too close.

 

“Mothers may see daughters as an extension of themselves, or be afraid to let go. Daughters are often reluctant to set boundaries.”

 

It certainly hasn’t been smooth sailing for my mother and me, but as I come closer to the age she was when she became a widow and raised my brother and me all by herself, I have to come to understand and appreciate her so much more. We have both also, perhaps, finally learned to let go in many ways, and to treat one another as adults and friends who love and respect one another completely. Life for us has come full circle.

 

After I took her photograph with a glorious Tagaytay sunset behind us, she asked to take a look at the photos.

 

“Mali, mali. Ulitin mo,” she requested, and when I asked her why, she replied, “Kailangan makita mo lagi ang rainbow (on her shawl).”

 

And sappy as that this may sound, that’s what my mother has shown me countless times in my life, both as a child and now as an adult with children of my own.

 

Follow the author on Twitter @cathybabao.