DEAR EMILY,
My husband and I separated a few months ago, because of the usual reason—a third party who is his officemate. Is it proper if I inform the company of their immorality? The mistress is married but has been separated for a long time now.
I just want to give them a lesson, and I know that it is my right to do it. Don’t worry. I will do it discreetly by sending an anonymous letter to the upper management. But the question is, will they believe me?
—Troubled Wife
Answer:
No, don’t even think about it! Don’t do anything that will compromise your dignity. Your separation is between you and your husband, whether there is a third person involved or not. Nobody put a gun to anybody’s skull!
Throw plates at each other or claw each other’s eyes in the confines of your bedroom. You don’t need an audience for that. Do you have children? If so, that’s one more reason to hold your head up high to protect them.
You and your husband have a shared history and no matter how lusty and passionate his romance is with this other woman, the thought of his children laughing and playing and being near him, surely tugs at his heartstrings, like it or not.
If you value what remains of your family, breathe hard, bite your tongue and control your impulse to make their lives miserable, no matter how wonderful you’ll feel about it. Whatever you sow you will reap. Spread kindness and patience, and fate will reward you with so much more. The law of boomerang, you know?
Who knows how their relationship will turn out. It might not be as short as a hiccup, but it could turn out to be just a fever. Make him regret leaving you. Though what you’re going through may be as painful as having your tooth pulled without anesthesia, whatever sacrifices you endure now will be worth it. Nobody is saying it will be easy. He may or may not find the way back home to you again, but be proud of yourself for being a class act.
Nothing will make you love yourself more than going through a storm and not losing your head throughout the ordeal. As one writer said: “Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.”
E-mail emarcelo@inquirer.com.ph or emarcelo629@gmail.com. Visit my one-woman painting exhibit, “Landscapes in Oil,” at Chef Jessie’s Rockwell Club in Rockwell, Makati City, which runs until Feb. 7.