I love Tuesday afternoons. It starts at about 3 or 3:30 p.m. The doorbell rings, and soon, I hear quick footsteps climbing up our stairs, and BAM! The door slams open, and little bundles of energy come running in to give me a big hug and kiss before the happy screams and shrieks begin. Just another play date in session.
And what happens at these play dates? Anything is possible when you’ve got a handful of kids who happen to be fully charged from their afternoon naps.
When you’re dealing with very young kids, a play date serves as a venue for them to play side by side with other kids, but still on their own. As they get a little older, they may start interacting and actually playing with each other, but the fun part is when they reach the age of about 2 or 2½ years old. That’s when you can watch a play date go from comedy to drama to action and then back to comedy, all in a span of a few minutes!
I don’t think there are any rules on play dates, other than to make sure the kids are laughing more than crying. Up until about a week ago, I made the effort to prepare these play dates, simply because it really did look enjoyable for my kids and their friends.
However, during a recent parenting talk I attended, I was pleasantly surprised to hear the speaker, Dr. Honey Carandang, discuss the importance of “play” in a child’s healthy development. She stressed the value of letting children play and its vital contribution to their emotional, social, intellectual, moral and psychological development.
Medium of expression
She talked about how play, being a child’s “natural medium of expression,” leads to the development of their creativity, and teaches them more than we realize, such as how to share and engage in friendly competition. As I reflected on past experiences, I realized that while playing, I also saw the kids resolve (minor) conflicts on their own and alternately take initiative to lead and help one another. Wow. Now there’s a real reason to have a play date!
About a year ago, my friend Kat Donahue (who actually initiated us into the practice of play dates, and serves as our play date COO or Chief Organizing Officer and coordinator) invited us to join an informal seminar on structured play groups in the home of our friend Shana.
I have to admit, the idea of a “structured” play date seems to go against the very nature of a play date, but it is quite a relief to have a template. But since we’re dealing with young kids and can never predict how they’re going to behave on that day, instead of putting the template here, I’ve decided to compile a list of DO’s and DON’Ts to follow when it’s our turn to host.
DO let the kids run around and play however they want when they first arrive, as they’re usually so excited to be together that there’s just no way you or your instructions can compete.
DON’T let them run around with markers. You’ll be sorry.
DO head off trouble as soon as you see it brewing. The most common problem is usually the sharing of toys, so try to have something on hand that you can use to diffuse and distract.
DO form a little circle to sing a happy welcome song like “If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands,” to signify the start of the play date.
DO try to come up with some active games for them to play and get some exercise from (though really, with toddlers and preschoolers, when are they ever not active?). Some “active” games we’ve tried are “Simon Says” and relay races that make them crawl under (safe) tables and climb over couches. No, nothing is sacred in our home.
Crackers and pretzels
DO have healthy snacks and juices on hand for both the kids and their mommies or yayas. Some mommies opt for light snacks such as fresh fruits, yogurt and the kids’ favorite crunchy crackers, cereals and pretzels. Others serve heavier snacks such as macaroni salad, sandwiches and banana or corn bread.
Some kids have a hard time finishing a whole regular-size sandwich, but pan de sal seem to be the perfect size for them. Try making tuna, PBJ (with or without bananas) or putting it in the sandwich maker with cheese. If you feel like going all out, then you can never go wrong with some spaghetti or macaroni and cheese.
DON’T serve potential allergens such as peanuts or anything that could choke a young child. Even healthy grapes can be dangerously swallowed in whole if it is not properly sliced beforehand. If your child has allergies, it would be best to alert your host in advance.
DO come up with an educational or creative activity the kids can do for fun. Personally, I enjoy coming up with little art projects that I usually get from kids’ art activities books, the Internet, or inspired by the season. Once, we had an activity where the kids painted their hands and feet white and put their prints on a sheet of black colored paper.
DON’T let children work with toxic art materials and without newspapers on the floor. Water-based paints are your best friend.
DO try something different each time. The most fun activity we had was when we baked sugar cookies and made butter cream frosting to decorate them with. The kids had a blast taking turns “measuring” and mixing the ingredients of the cookies.
While the cookies baked in the oven, they worked on making the frosting and mixing the food coloring to get the colors and shades they wanted. We scooped up each color into a mini ice plastic bag, knotted the top and snipped off a corner, and voila, instant icing decorator! They all looked very proud of themselves as they went home with their cookies.
DON’T let them put a spoonful of food coloring in their mouth.
Age-appropriate
DO make the activities age appropriate. I recently purchased a book with a whole bunch of art projects which we have been trying out here at home. Our most recent project was a Japanese Fish Lantern. As I tried to teach the kids about Japan, I got a couple of blank stares, while others continued to play on their own. However, when I brought out the colored papers to stick as “scales” of the fish and especially the shiny little stick-ons, all eyes were suddenly on me.
DON’T let them play with glitters unless you want to decorate your home with it.
DO try to have a read-aloud session, if you can hold their attention long enough.
DO end the play date with another circle and a goodbye song such as Barney’s “I love you” song.
DO let them have free playtime again before they go home.
Everyone has their own way of hosting, and each one always has a way of making a day in their home special. Following this list may lead to a great play date for everyone or lead to nothing at all, especially on those days when the kids really just want to play. During days like that, who are we to stop them?
It is a play date after all, so don’t worry so much about what to do with them; they’ll figure it out for themselves. As long as nobody goes home crying and with a tooth missing, you can consider it a successful play date.
