Dear Dolls,

Beauty is confidence as they say, but how can I achieve that?

-Anonymous, via Tumblr

Why don’t I start by telling you what I think is beautiful.

Natural is beautiful.

I believe, whatever skin tone you were born with, the features you have on your face, the way your body is shaped, how your hair falls––what you look like after an afternoon of swimming in the ocean, or working out, climbing a mountain, or riding a bike is beautiful. Understanding your body and treating it well by putting the right things in it, and working your muscles out. I think clothes made of fibers that grow from our land are beautiful. I think sunsets are beautiful.

Knowing is beautiful.

I think knowledge and intelligence are beautiful. Reading and understanding. Sharing ideas and lessons. Recounting experiences, introducing people to each other, having warm conversations. Stepping outside the world you know, to shape your perspective, by learning about other people and cultures. Knowing HOW to do something––perfecting a talent, exercising, or learning a skill. Working at getting an even better grasp of it. I think that is beautiful.

Giving, healing, and growing are beautiful.

Holding out a helping hand. Going out of your way to give what you can to someone, so that they may get out of a rut, or be inspired to take the next step. Listening, so people may unload. Offering support for those who may not know they need it, regardless of whether or not they are able to do the same for you. Nurturing. Beautiful.

Truth and expression are beautiful.

Honesty and the art that comes in expressing it––visual art, music, dance, and writing. I am convinced there is nothing more incredible. Communicating with people, verbalizing feelings, finding common passions, asking questions, and being open to honest answers.

Achievement, community, and teamwork are beautiful.

Working together as a team, striving for excellence. A group of individuals headed towards a common goal. The spirit of unity and dedication. Finding harmony and discipline to be able to deliver. I think that is beautiful.

And the more I work towards the things I think are beautiful, the better I feel about myself. So you need to ask yourself what you define as beautiful––and I mean, REALLY beautiful, and not in a superficial way.

If you can commit to improving yourself, even just a little bit every day, I guarantee you, confidence will come so naturally––and it will be a lasting confidence. Not fleeting, like the confidence you get by being famous, or popular, or for having the nicest clothes in your barkada (group of friends). Trust me.

Last week I saw a woman in the mall who caught my attention. She was wearing a bright, yet polished outfit and high-heels. She had beautiful dark skin, shining eyes, and an Afro. She was simply radiating. I mean this in every sense of the word. She smiled back at me and all I could say to myself is, “Wow, what a woman.”

Now some people may ask themselves, what can I do to look that attractive? Well, the theme “Be Yourself” is where I’m going with today’s column. What struck me about that woman in the mall, and other amazing women I look up to, is their ability to be comfortable in their own skin.

They are comfortable with every feature, or flaw, they have––and they probably don’t even think their flaws are flaws anyway. They relax into every outfit, and aren’t self-conscious about what they are wearing. They walk with ease, converse with passion, and laugh with heart. You know these are the real qualities that are attractive. It’s a type of energy that pulls you in.

If we are on a mission to “Be Yourself” start reflecting on what really makes you happy, and express that. What do you really like to wear? What do you enjoy reading? Whom do you love to talk to and surround yourself with? Make an honest inventory of the things that make you happy, then start small to transform this list into reality.

From writing new blog entries, to performing music, to trying out new recipes––there are countless ways you can express yourself.

What we are aiming for is the confidence to claim your happiness. Meaning: the real things that you know make you happy. And the courage to own your actions, meaning, taking responsibility for the things you do. Then slowly, try to share this list with the rest of the world. See it as gifts you can use to help other people. You’ll be surprised at how your former self-consciousness has easily melted away.

What I’ve noticed is that the women who are happy living the life they love, are the ones who are the most beautiful. Because beauty isn’t limited to the physical attributes or just how a person acts in social settings. It’s living a beautiful life that makes you glow.