Years and years of studying hard have prepared you for this, and now it’s finally here. Congratulations on your first job! This should serve as your induction to the “real world” every adult has been talking about all your life. It doesn’t come without little snags here and there, though. In the words of the great Monica Geller, “Welcome to the real world. It sucks. You’re gonna love it!”
Below, we have listed 6 things you will most likely experience during your first job. You have been warned.
Office wear is always a problem. Gone are the days when you can just put on your week-old sweats and be ready to head out. Your college statement and org shirts won’t cut it, either. As a matter of fact, nothing in your current wardrobe is office-ready. In the meantime, you try your best to look professional in your blazer and tennis shoes combo.
You will learn to be dependent on coffee. Or some kind of booster shot. Initially you might think you don’t need a pick-me-up every morning but give it a couple of days. You will quickly find yourself having at least 4 cups throughout the day. You will wonder how you ever made it this far in life without this magical potion.
Emails are hard. Do you say “Thank you” or will a simple “Thanks” suffice? Is “Dear ____” even a thing in work emails? And what exactly is the purpose of a CC? These are the questions that may plague someone starting out in the corporate world. Don’t worry, you’ll get the hang of it!
Forgotten earphones are the worst. This truth will become especially glaring once you experience having to spend the day in front of your office computer without listening to Kendrick Lamar’s Backstreet Freestyle at least 40 times. Every professional knows that earphones are your lifeline in a world of cubicle partitions and awkward interactions by the water cooler. Souls actually chip away slowly when work days pass without hearing bubblegum pop songs or show tunes in private.
Talking on the office phone is so, so hard. A cold call from the boss will make you feel like you want to melt into the earth at least 12 times during the entire conversation. As much as you want to come across as confident and professional and someone who has his life together, you’re just not adult enough on the inside for that yet, and that’s okay.
The crushing realization that everything costs money. Life used to be easy; running out of cash is just a signal to ask for more from the parentals. Now that you’re on your own, you will realize that everything exists to take your hard-earned money away from you. Your mission now, should you choose to accept it, is to determine which purchases will give you the best value for your money. After all, everyday is not payday!
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