President Duterte may have reneged on his campaign promise to support legislation allowing same-sex marriage, but this seems to be no deterrent for Filipino couples—some, rather prominent names—who want to celebrate their unions.
Just the other weekend, in Boracay, celebrity fashion designer Francis Libiran wed his American partner, Christian Mark Jacobs, in a lavish ceremony attended by their families and friends.
Not long ago, in his well-attended 40th birthday party, multimedia personality Tim Yap proposed to his Spanish boyfriend, events director Javi Martinez.
“I always tell Noel, we aren’t imaginary characters living in the Philippines. There are so many gays and lesbians here. Let’s stop and really smell the coffee,” says fashion designer and Inquirer LOOK of Style winner Roland Alzate, referring to how the Philippines doesn’t legally recognize same-sex unions.
Alzate wed Noel Crisostomo, also a fashion designer, in Toronto in 2014. Crisostomo is a Canadian citizen, and they have been together for seven years. Canada has recognized same-sex marriage since July 2005, the first country outside Europe to do so.
“In Canada, we feel secure, and are equal with everyone,” Alzate says. “Here, somehow you get a feeling that you are together but not together.”
“It’s a sad reality that we all have to face,” says Libiran. “We cannot please everyone, but what’s important for us is we have our family and friends who support us and love us for who we are.”
He adds, “I am very fortunate that my family has accepted me for who I am, supported me in my choices, and loved me without any condition. They embraced us with open arms when we finally made the decision to get married.”
Alzate concurs. His and Crisostomo’s respective families have been “close since Day 1. Everyone was happy we decided to get married.”
Sentimental reasons
Though Libiran and Jacobs haven’t gotten married in a country where same-sex unions are legal, they have plans to do so. They chose to have the ceremony here first for sentimental reasons: “We want the presence of all our family members and closest friends—for them to witness our wedding and give their blessing really mean a lot to us,” Libiran says.
In January 2015, celebrity hairstylist Lourd Ramos wed his French-Moroccan partner Medhi Moussaui, also a hairstylist, in New York City. (Same–sex marriage has been legal in the state of New York since mid-2011.) They held a grand wedding in Manila a couple of months later.
Singer Aiza Seguerra and actress Liza Diño wed in San Francisco, California, where such marriages are legal, in December 2014. A month later, they held a ceremony for their families and friends in the Philippines. (It’s worth noting the Seguerra-Diños campaigned for Duterte during the elections.)
Alzate says they chose to marry for love, but there are also practical reasons. In the Philippines, neither can make legal decisions for the other if need be.
“I can’t make Noel a beneficiary of all my millions!” he says in jest. In Canada, where he has applied for citizenship, the banks and insurance companies “highly recommend making your same-sex spouse your beneficiary.”
When they began processing his immigration, Alzate says they had to submit the documents in Canada directly, since, to their surprise, the Canadian embassy here doesn’t process cases such as his—that of a legally married, same-sex spouse of a Canadian citizen.
In Ramos’ case, his father sent the prenup from the lawyer for Moussaui to sign on the eve of their New York wedding. Ramos is the owner-franchisor of his namesake salon chain. Moussaui was happy to oblige.
Just like heterosexual marriages, same-sex unions have their share of kinks. Ramos and Moussaui have separated, though “we’re in good terms,” says the former of his spouse, who works for the Philippine office of a French beauty conglomerate.
Crisostomo and Alzate have no plans to hold a ceremony in the Philippines, where same-sex unions remain legally unrecognized and largely frowned upon.
“If my own church, me being Catholic, denies this beautiful privilege, what’s the point?” Alzate says. At least in Canada, “our marriage is legal”—and for this couple, that’s all that matters.
